Some tips on how to support someone who recently lost a baby either in miscarriage, still birth, or infancy death.
If You Are Not Sure What to Say, Then Do Not Say Anything
It is much better to keep your mouth shut than to open your mouth with something along the lines of “Maybe that's just God's way of telling you not to have a baby right now,” Some women are OK with hearing the cliché that “Everything happens for a reason,” but some are not.
Just Be There
A woman is always okay with having a shoulder to cry on or having someone who is willing to just listen. Even if you do not know how she feels or understand what it is like, you can listen.
Acknowledge Her Lost Baby
Her baby was there, and was real. Even if she miscarried and her baby was not actually born, her baby was alive and do not ignore that.
Do Not Compare Anything Else to the Loss of a Baby
A baby that was born or a child that had died later in life still got to hear the parent say “I love you,” and they got to see their child's face and have more time. A baby that was miscarried rather than stillborn or died later in life, at least the parent did not have a longer time to build a stronger bond. Let alone the comparison of any other kind of loss. Guarantee you still do not understand.
Never Tell them they Should be Over the Loss of their Baby
Only the mother knows how long she needs to grieve. The grieving will never be done. Eventually it will get better or easier, but it will never be done.
Tell Them About Online Support Groups
If you insist on trying to give some words of wisdom, politely and gently let them know that when they are ready for support groups you know that there are online support groups out there. Such as Myspace has some that are strictly for parents of loss children. Do not check with them later if they did it.
Give Them Time to Grieve without You Around
There will be times where they want to grieve by themselves, let them. That is private time between them and their baby.
Be Comforting
If you are a significant other of someone who lost the child, be with them to console and comfort them. Hold them. If they are up crying, stay up holding them. When it is the darkest hour, the mother may need to be consoled by the father.
