The happiness of home life is so often, clouded by the need of correction that it is really a serious problem to parents how to discipline in such a way as to build up rather than to destroy the individuality of the child. The best dis¬cipline is that which leads to self-discipline. This must be true as the aim of discipline is character and character is the resultant of will trained to act habit¬ually from right motives. Virtue implies moral strength of will, desire to do that which is morally right. For the moral life there must be an awakened intelligence and an emotional nature quick to re¬spond to every sense of duty, then follows naturally upon every question of voluntary conduct, the se¬quence of a moral act, feeling, thought, decision, ac¬tion.
It has been truthfully said that every time a boy takes his first two steps, feeling and thought, with¬out proceeding further, he strengthens the habit of neglect of duty; when he adds the third step, decision, without completing it with the fourth step, action, he becomes weaker as an executive moral force. It must be borne in mind as an important fact in the train¬ing of our boys and girls that every act is an im¬portant act for it leads to habit.
Sow a thought and you reap an act;
Sow an act and you reap habit;
Sow habit and you reap character.
Character expresses itself in conduct. Knowledge awakens feeling; feeling gives direction to the will, and will determines conduct.
So often the parent, in mistaken fondness, says, "We will correct this child when he is old enough to understand.'' So the little saucy word is overlooked, or the rude play act continued until the child has outgrown the "cunning" age, and then perhaps sud¬denly father awakens with displeasure to the rude¬ness he himself has encouraged. Then follow harsh correction, rebellion, misunderstanding. This de¬structive process is more often the secret of home fail¬ure in discipline than parents would be willing to admit. Sometimes the mother hesitates to set the young child right in manners at the table and habits of greediness, untidyness, thoughtlessness of others, take the place of the finer qualities that should be taking shape. Then the mother has her sharp awaken¬ing and reprimands, unjust and severe, follow upon the conduct she herself has permitted to become habit.
These are destructive rather than constructive processes in discipline. "We do not build our houses in that way. We first think out our superstructure and then stone by stone is laid with reference to the ideal plan. No one would tolerate the economic waste of foundations laid without reference to future work¬ing plans. Yet economies in human life and conduct are often, through indifference or ignorance, not so well considered.
Discipline does not necessarily mean punishment. It has a broader meaning than that. Like the words "censor," "censure,""criticism," and other kindred words, discipline may signify both, favorable and unfavorable attitudes of mind, and as such it carries with it a certain amount of dread which tends to fix upon it the latter meaning. There seems to be a tendency when a word has double range in meaning, both of constructive and destructive force, to gradually reduce it to the latter. "Disci¬pline" is such a word. "To give the punishment of the strap;" "to chastise;" to punish by way of cor¬rection and training; to improve by penal methods; severe training corrective of faults; instruction by means of misfortune, suffering, these are familiar def¬initions of the word, but they cover only its lower ranges.
Discipline in its broader and happier sense in¬cludes all the constructive processes in education. It aims to educate by instruction and exercise; to ac¬custom to regular and systematic action; to bring un¬der control so as to act systematically; to train to proper subordination and obedience; to substitute good for bad; to develop all that is best in child na¬ture. This is the constructive ideal of discipline; it is formative, not reformative.
Constructive discipline assumes that with moral training there must be moral responsibility and moral accountability. "We cannot educate to goodness un¬less we believe in goodness, not in the abstract but actual goodness in the individual. Children are never made good by believing they are bad. Not, what shall I do with the child who has done wrong, but what can I do so that this child may choose to do right, are the really formative questions.
The action of the very young child is non-moral, not immoral. He is not bad. He is not consciously good. He moves but impulsively along the pathway of a motor idea, whereas the conduct of the more ex¬perienced is restrained by reflection. Under the in¬fluence of proper education, the first motor impulses are met by inhibitive ideas, then arise conflict, doubt, hesitation. It is at this point that discipline is needed, the external word of counsel or authority from parent or teacher. Conduct at first impulsive must become rational, selective.
