Dangerous Problems Children Experience

Years back, I would had shared the same popular view and answered; No, but be not deceived. Friends corrupt; books corrupt; peer - groups corrupt; parents, the home corrupt. This is not an accusation but it is a fact. How? Why? Where? When?

Parental Relationship

Now let's do a little social practical experiment. List out ten children that display some social misbehaviours, what have you observed that is in common about most of them? Nothing, right? Now, look out for their parental relationship, what have you discovered?

You will as I did discover that about 70% of this youth are associated with at least one of this traits in their parental relationship.

1. Parents are divorced
2. One/both parents is/are not regularly at home, maybe due to the job condition
3. One parent greatly dominates the other on the running of the family
4. One/both parents is/are dead
5. One parent might have bad the children from previous marriage and now being remarried, the new spouse disregards the children gotten form the ex-marriage

Half of the children who grows up with one biological parent (even with the other is there yet not acting) are likely to drop out of school or become teenage fathers and mothers. From the above, silly as it may seem, I have tried to deduce some suggestion on how to avoid the making of bad mannered children.

1. Do not divorce - whether you love your children or not
2. If it is your job condition, fill it up by being very friendly and a close companion to your children when you are around. Listen to their troubles and complains - even if they concern what they dislike about you or your spouse - and try to resolve them. Remember the Japanese proverb that one kind word can harm three wonter - cold; icy; dull; lonely - months.
3. If you are the dominating type, don't dominate. If you are the dominated over, don't relinquish your duty. Both parents are important on the job of raising and training of children.
4. If you are a lone parent or guardian, fill up the gap which both parents ought to. Be the provider, caretaker, the problem solver, the regular companion, the question answerer, the good listener.
5. If it is a new spouses disregard for your ward, let the spouse see reasons with you why that ought not be so. Never forget that a parents gap cannot be easily filled by another be it uncle, aunt, brother sister, house-help.

Comparism

I was privileged to witness a parent's day/prize giving ceremony where an incident that really touched me occurred. Bottled drinks with metal crowns which had to be opened then dropped on the floor were served during the entertainment after which, the prize giving commenced.

A mother to two boys sat by my side and his children who were pupils of the school were not dressed in their school uniform (offence one) this two boys - barely eight years of age were busy crawling under chairs, stamping on peoples feet's, shout at/to each other; all in their bid to gather the metal crowns of the bottled drinks - as a plaything - yet the mother did nothing (offence two).

James and John (not their real names) are those pupils receiving prizes not humans like you? Are they not children like you? Are they not your class/school mates? Do they have two heads? The mother shouted out her comparisms when one her children in his scramble for a nearby drink crown stamped on her feet in the process.

What am I trying to illustrate of tell you? Well why compare when you have not acted your own parts well? No uniforms, permitted to run around dirty, permitted to roll, crawl, shout and disgrace themselves on public then, why compare such pupils with the others who are well dressed in well starched and well ironed school uniforms. If those boys were called to receive prizes, would they have gone for their prizes without the regulated identification - school uniform?

Don't compare at all I repeat, don't compare at all. Who are you comparing your child with? Are the conditions in that home the same as in yours? Are you as gentle but strict and disciplinary as the other parents? Are you as caring as the other parents? Are you as poor/rich as the other parents? Have you done what the other parents do? Don't compare it hurts your child. That child knows that the conditions in your home are not the same as in the other. It angers that child. Oh ! You want to stimulate competition. Well, sorry, you are trying the wrong method. Comparing in words, don't stimulate competition but if in habits the already existing one.

Next tie you feel like comparing - before saying Junior John's grades is always higher than yours, John is of a better behaviour than you - sit down and truly compare, weight, size, debate for and against the two sides - a police-man to a civilian, a business woman to a teacher, a housewife to a worker, a gentle mother to a harsh one, a child who studies to a child who flags, a child who hawks to a child who sleeps - and you will discover that is, useless comparing after all.