Dads are Different Today

The word to fathers today is get involved or be left out. The days are gone when the he-man of the house took his club and went out to find fresh meat for the brood. Fathers today are expected to be a major factor in the home environment of the family. Waving a paycheck under the door for admission to the house is a thing of the past.

Men, in general, and fathers specifically need to be willing to role up the sleeves and become a participant in more of the home than just lighting the grill up for burgers and bar-b-que from time to time. Going to work and coming home to be waited on by a dutiful little wife is a fairy tale that does not play well in suburbia or anywhere else.

The funny movies of yesterday that portray a helpless man being confronted by a dirty diaper like "Three Men and a Baby" are pictures of a day is fading rapidly into the history books. Fathers change diapers, read bedtime stories, and get the kids ready for school. Working moms have made these changes a necessity. Dads really should have always been a part of children's lives beyond just providing food and shelter.

The line between the role of motherhood and fatherhood has been blurred. Except for the biological difference, many of the duties of mom and dad have overlapped and even switched places in today's families. Dads cook, clean, and take on other responsibilities. Moms work, do home repairs, and carry out the trash. In short, fathers are expected to cover the gaps in family care that are being vacated by women as their careers and obligations soar.

Fathers are no longer looked to as the stern force in the home. As dads, men are learning to take on the role of teacher and guide to their children. Discipline is often more a matter of becoming a good model for the children to follow than cracking the whip. Very few children fear their dads today.

A half century ago, most children would have been at least somewhat fearful when dad came home. Mom would unload a day of misbehavior in his lap for him to deal with. This is not true now. The words, "Just wait until your dad gets home," were enough to bring even the worst behaving child into submission. Now, most kids look for their dad's arrival at home with excitement. He has become their play buddy. He is the parent that lets them take more risks and provides greater excitement.

Fathers are more flexible, more gentle, and more involved in the family than ever before. Child care, housework, and other duties are being handled by many fathers. The family is viewed as a family laboratory, and the father is one of the primary elements.