She is one of a twin, one of those sets of those mysteries of cells and genetics, but all they have in common is cells and genetics. One is asleep in one room and her basketball shoelaces graze the wood floor in an almost empty room with grace; I love Ophelia as much as she hates her name, some day she will thank me. Her twin is down the hall ( a bathroom separates them) and her leg dangles from a frilly, cluttered-with-heart-shaped pillows bed onto plush, over-the-top ballet carpeting.
You love them equally. That is a law of parental love, or maybe, only maternal love. But at fourteen, and also, NEVER, is a choice really necessary.
Since their older brother's departure for college – in Oregon, okay it is Reed, but still – and he's a sophomore and when he left I had to start seeing a therapist for the first time in my life, I have decided to start sooner.
John Mayer tickets? Yes, if I don't go with them….O-o-o-Kay. But my new, younger (by four years—this makes it better?) boyfriend Jamie can go. O-K. I'll just sit on the massive steps of the post office on 8 th avenue opposite the Garden.
Doors opened, closed or ajar when boyfriends are hanging out? Yeah, um, okay…
Separate phone numbers for each? If each gets a job that will float the bill, wait, their father says ok.
Loneliness? Shopping together? Driving into the deepening darkness in Suffolk County or up in Putnam? Yes. No. No.
Petra (she likes her name and I'm pretty sure, still likes me) is still wearing her ballerina rehearsal tutu and both pink toe shoes cling to her feet. I could undress her like a child, a decade younger, and my defense would be something about wanting to keep her outfit in performance-level-please shape.
But that would be a lie. A tear escapes only one eye. The dead giveaway.
I'm going to have to work on this or call that shrink again, the one who eased me off Phillippe's departure to the west coast…But to save you a quarter on a phone call or thousands on a “coping system”—I'll bottom-line it for you.
• If you're not in shape, get in shape. Nothing worse than the older, college mom and chubby tush pulling out the pull-out bed for friends. BUT do killer
pancakes and waffles and sausage in the morning. Do not assume CHOCOLATE MILK, it's COFFEE. They're in college.
• If you're married, pull an old-fashioned stunt and seduce him. Every night for a week, until he gets the message….get a Viagra prescription from somewhere, if necessary. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• If you're not married, get a life. You may have a job. BUT do you have a life?
• A life means: yoga or ice skating, riding horses or volunteering at a hospital.
• Just don't volunteer at a prison; bad vibes all around. You want to think about AVAILABLE men to usher you into the next stage.
I miss my girls already. I need a fermata, just for five or six years.
