You never know what to expect after the pregnancy is over and your new baby is in your arms! You are embarking on a whole new adventure and if you can grasp just a few “rules” your journey will be a whole lot easier! Everything ChangesYes, truly, just like the commercial warns you, having a baby really does change everything. It changes your life, your schedule, your plans and it even changes by the minute! Whole theories, philosophies and ideals down the drain before you even realized what they were. One minute you are on OCD workaholic, organized sane person, then next minute, Cheerios litter your floor, you are always running late and you are one insane soccer mom looking for just five minutes of quiet so you can sort yourself out, right. So you'd settle for a trip to the potty by yourself. Think again. The road to parenting is marked by many trials and errors, ups and downs and literally being ready for anything- like pink marker on the white dog. Children that think they are monkeys and that truly believe book shelves are for climbing. I've come to realize that there are a few Parenting Rule that once I grasped that life did flow a little smoother. The "Rules"Get Over The Icky
Yes, the icky, you know, that sticky feeling on your hands after you eat a donut, or the leftover residue of something just truly gross to touch? You know what I am talking about, sticky, icky, grossness. Yeah, you have to totally throw the deal with mess out the door. Parenting is a messy business - literally and physically!
The toys are never going to ever be picked up for more than 5 minutes (ok, 20 seconds!), unless it's bedtime or nap time or you are on vacation. The Cheerios are going to be all over the floor, they are going to get crunched (you want to know a secret? It's easier to clean up Cheerios after they've been stepped on - really!) But, you learn to cope. So the milk spilled, you wipe it up, when you get a spare moment, and you move on with your day, it really isn't the end of the world. Parenting Is A Hands On Job
You know in school where they have those by-the-book subjects (like English and Math?) and then you have those classes like Physical Education (P.E.) or Chemistry Lab where you actually have to do something and participate? Well, parenting is like Chem Lab, not only are you getting dirty (without the uncomfortable rubber gloves this time!) but you are mixing together even more dangerous chemicals then you did in High School Chemistry - nap times, meals and the inevitable toddler meltdown.
Yeah, that's enough to make any person hyperventilate but this is an all-day, every-day experiment that has more than just your grade at the end of the semester at stake - one wrong move (like a missed nap!) can ruin your whole day. Whew! Talk about the pressure. Honestly, though, it really isn't that bad.
One missed nap can easily be solved by an earlier bedtime, and a meltdown in a store can- sometimes- be solved with some cuddles (and if that doesn't work, at least you will learn the fastest way to exit the mall with a kicking and screaming toddler in tow!) Play Is Child's Work
This is the part of my day that I love the most- playtime! Really, most of my day is playtime and it really is the time when my kid's personalities really bloom and blossom. Sometimes we forget in our quest for the smartest baby, or well - rounded kid or even our little league superstar, that kids really are meant to play - period. Just to play! No agenda, no lesson, no extra-special educational benefit, just simple, unstructured playtime. Playtime in our house is anytime and all the time.
Sometimes they play by themselves and sometimes they want you to play with them and very rarely, you are just the prop for them to play around (either being the patient with a “broken boo-boo” or simply being the monkey bar-esque structure that they climb all over). Don't be afraid to sit on the floor and be part of the play - really, why else do you stay home all day (my husband would say definitely not to do laundry and be the maid!)? Everything Is On Their Time
I learned very early on, when my second child was born (and the first one had just turned 1!) that if I wanted to make it out of the door at a certain time, I needed to plan about 45 minutes ahead to get ready. It would take about 30 minutes to get them both dressed and somewhat presentable and at least another 15 minutes to get everybody to the car and buckled in their car seats.
Who knew that getting dressed required a game of chase, eating shoes, changing diapers for the second time in a row and then remembering that I was still in my P.J.'s? Or that the walk to the car consisted of chasing every random toy all the neighborhood kids decided to leave outside and then several games of run around the car, only to be followed by the car seat shuffle (complete with Mommy attempting to sit in the car seat in order to entice the toddler that the Princess seat really did make her a Princess?).
Who knew the great lengths that one would have to go through just to run to the store to get some juice? Yeah, quick trips to the store to pick up one item? Better re-think those, even if your list only has one item on it, by the time you get to the store, with baby in tow, and mess with the car seat your list will seem to double, triple before you even get your buggy. Nothing Is "Yours" Anymore
This includes body parts- arms, legs, and, especially if you are breastfeeding, your breasts! This can be a very difficult principle to grasp, especially when you are a fan of “personal space” however, it really is simpler to just say to yourself that it is only temporary, and one day you won't have little hands lifting up your shirt in the grocery store, and climbing your arms while you are cooking. Nursing moms, you truly have my sympathy and admiration- breastfeeding is one of those truly beautiful and at the same time draining experience.
Just remind yourself that in the grand scheme of your little one's life, this really is just a short time, and you will have the rest of your life to not flash random strangers and to not have to play the “see how many unique places Mommy can figure out a way to discreetly nurse me” (this game never seems to loose it's charm for my 13 month old- he's nursed at almost every restaurant, at the zoo, in line at Toys R Us on Black Friday, in the car on road trips, traffic jams- just to name a few!) They Will Get It When They Get It
Just because your friend's baby slept through the night at two months old does not mean that your little one is going to be jealous and decide that now that he is twelve months old that he should join the “sleeping through the night club.” For some reason, baby's and toddler's don't seem to join in this Parenting Competition and Bragging game that us parents seem to be all about. They simply decide to master a task or achieve a milestone, when they feel like it. Oh, and in there on way too I might add.
Same thing goes for when they reach a milestone early, like my son who decided to walk when it was most inconvenient to mommy, and no matter how many times I picked him up or carried him, or tried to keep him in one spot, it just did not work and he just ran off away from me the minute his feet hit the ground. Laugh
You have to laugh, it's vital to your sanity and it's healthy (laughter even burns calories, just in case you have baby weight hanging on that won't go away, just add some extra laughter to your day!). It's a lot more fun to just take a breath and laugh at the huge mess your child just made, even if it's water all over your floors that you just mopped.
Bumps, spills and toys strewn all over your house just goes with the territory. If you will just laugh about it and find humor in the chaos, the day won't seem to last so long, and everybody will be a lot less stressed out. Sleep Is Overrated
As the mother of a 12 month old who is yet to sleep through the night (oh and did I mention that both of mine decided months ago that naps are just not there thing as well?) I keep telling myself that sleep is just a luxury that I don't need, unfortunately my body isn't buying it!
Sleep is important, but the key is learning to capitalize on the opportunity to get sleep. Like on weekend mornings when my husband can have baby duty for a few hours and I can catch up on some missed sleep. Or, (ducking in extreme embarrassment!) going to bed super early when the kids do can help give you the extra push when they wake up 4 hours later wanting to eat - again. Your Business Is Everybody's Business
You think you want your kids to talk? Think again! As soon as their mouths start going, every little secret that you ever thought was safe is now the whole world's joke! It starts out really cute and innocent, like “Mommy's Dog,” or “Baby Sleeping,” and then it progresses to full-blown embarrassment when they find it necessary to announce to all your party guests that “Mommy Potty, ewwww, stinky!” All the while giving you a grand ovation for going in the potty.
Yeah, you might want to think about what you teach your kids to say and it's also a good rule of thumb to remember that little ears are always listening and they love to repeat what they've heard at the most inopportune moments! When All Else Fails, Get A Dog!
I'm not joking here. In a moment of what I thought was insanity at the time, my dear husband decided to buy us a Westie puppy, Dumbledore. I was a little uncertain how a puppy would fit in our crazy mix, but Dumbledore has been a great joy and a big help - he has made for many moments of laughter, much more sleep as he wears the children out with playing, he is very hands-on, and if nothing else, he got my daughter to potty train- seriously! When all else fails are you are ready to pull out the last remaining (turning an insane grayish color!) hairs you have, just get a puppy!
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