While many people are able to get to know their extended family members and form a relationship with them over the years, others live far apart and do not see them too often, if at all. But how should you react when a relative you hardly know fails to address you correctly?
Tactful Reminders
It is sad to say that even relatives are guilty of calling you by a name that is not your own. I battled to convince certain long distance relatives whom I did not know well that my name was "Sophie" and not "Sonia" and that I did not want to be called by that name. If you find yourself up against stubborn relatives who insist on re-naming you or who forget that you prefer to be called Annie rather than Annabelle, take every opportunity you can to tactfully remind your relatives of your personal preference. If they raise an objection by saying that you were quite happy to be called by your legal name when they last saw you as a 5-year-old, you will have to remind them that you are no longer 5 and that you have an established name that you are more comfortable with.
Some people become quite defensive and will react angrily if their relatives whom they hardly know persist in calling them by a name that they do not go by. While such a reaction will make distant relatives sit up and take notice, it will not endear you to them in the long term and they might even view you as touchy, easily offended and rude.
Backup
Sometimes, it is just not possible to convince relatives to address you in the way that you prefer, which is why a backup will be required. Enlist the help of your parents, siblings, spouse or someone else close to you. Without making it too obvious, make sure that your distance relatives notice that whenever you are addressed by immediate family members, they all refer to you in the same way calling you by the name you regularly use.
Letters
An effective way to solve the problem of distant relatives who do not address you correctly is to keep in touch via letters or e-mail after you both return home and to always ensure that you have your name clearly visible on the envelope in the top left hand corner and within the body of the letter. Visual reminders are often more effective than verbal prompts to address you correctly.
Relatives whom you hardly know are sometimes guilty of failing to address you properly and may even call you a different name altogether. But with persistence and tactful application, it is possible to let distant relatives know how you would like to be addressed.
