Making the choice to no longer offer a pacifier or bottle to your baby is a very difficult decision. The bottle and pacifier both provide comfort and entertainment to your baby (and a break for many stay at home mothers). It is often just as difficult to wean the parents of these useful commodities as it is for the child.
When Should One Stop Giving Their Child The Bottle or Pacifier?
As with any habit, it is easier to break sooner than later. The pacifier and bottle are more than a habit for your baby; taking these items away from your child is more than removing objects - it is the process of teaching your child to soothe and comfort themselves. It may take a lot of time for an infant to adequately learn these skills; the process should be approached with love and respect.
- Begin by teaching your baby that they do not need the object - encourage coping with their emotions in a different manner. Presenting your child with a new blanket, teddy bear, or an exciting cup may assist in the process.
- Only begin this process when your baby is healthy, happy, and free from all other developmental stresses (i.e. teething, arrival of a new sibling). Removing these objects at the wrong time can produce additional distress for your child.
- Be patient with the process - approach it slowly. It is important to take it a day at a time. Consider this procedure similar to the act of learning to walk - any progression takes time. Be sure to provide additional love and comfort to your child during this time.
It is recommended that your child is weaned from the bottle by 18 months of age and that they discontinue the use of a pacifier by age three.
Why Remove the Pacifier/Bottle?
There are many reasons why the bottle or pacifier should be removed your child's lifestyle. When a young baby receives a bottle, they do so in their parent's arms. Once the milk is gone or the baby is asleep, the baby no longer has access to the bottle. As your child continues to grow, they will want to hold the bottle in the crib with them and eventually walk around the house holding the bottle. This habit of constant exposure to milk is not good for young, growing teeth and appetites. Children who have constant access to their bottle do not consume as many calories in their meals and many times struggle with nutritional deprivation - not to mention tooth decay from chronic lactose exposure.
The use of a pacifier can largely affect the growth and development of your child's teeth and greatly affect the alignment of their teeth as well.
When Is My Child Ready?
First and foremost, trust your heart - your intuitive sense. Parents know best. Do not allow others' opinions to determine when and where you will begin this process. Ensure that you are emotionally ready and prepared to begin and accomplish the goal of teaching your child these fundamental skills and independence. If you begin this process unprepared, you may surrender to your child's wishes. The old adage, “Mother always knows best” is a valid statement.
Through proper encouragement and instruction, the parent can allow the child to make the decision to leave the pacifier or bottle behind. The parent can simply control the circumstances in a manner that their child begins to reject their pacifier or bottle.
Methods to Take the Bottle Away
- Slowly decrease the amount of times they receive the bottle.
- Only serve water in the bottle
- Decrease the amount of milk in the bottle and increase water intake
- Have the cup out and ready for them at all times
- Allow your child to select the cup of their preference. Praise their choice and their desire to drink from a cup instead of a bottle.
- Make a small cut in the nipple, and continue to give it to your child. When your child realizes that the bottle no longer works as it once did, they will not want it.
- “Cold turkey” works for some parents, but proceed cautiously. This method could result in delayed results.
Methods to Take the Pacifier Away
- Make a small cut in the pacifier so it no longer works. Give it to your child whenever they ask for it.
- Teach your child to use their thumb - at least they are comforting themselves
- Only give it to your child during naps or bedtime
- Allow your child to give their pacifiers to someone they idolize (garbage man, Mickey Mouse, grandma, etc.) Encourage them to select someone special enough to receive their beloved pacifier.
Coping Suggestions for the Parent
This adjustment period can be very difficult for the parent - especially if the child does not yet know how to go to sleep without one of these objects. There may be many times that you wish to surrender. Do NOT admit defeat. By resigning, you are only creating a larger battle the next time you try.
- Focus on the end result. Ultimately, your child must learn these skills at some point in their life. Remember that it will be easier for your child to learn now; tomorrow is always one day harder for the habit is more deeply engrained.
- Create a personal goal for yourself, especially if your child does not know to properly fall asleep on their own. If you allow your child to cry it out when going to sleep, have a project ready for your attention during these moments to prevent giving up. Keep yourself occupied.
- Find someone to lean on for your own emotional support during this time
Be careful to not replace these habits with new habits. While the thought of allowing your child to cry it out may seem harsh, rocking your child to sleep will only create a new habit that will eventually need to be broken as well. Do it right the first time!
