Parenting is the most important thing that we will ever do. Here are some tips for finding success as a parent.
We buy things for our children on impulse
Starting at a young age, parents do buy trinkets for their children whenever they are out shopping. It might be harmless to purchase that cute little stuffed toy for your toddler. But if you are shopping for groceries, then you are sending a potentially expensive message. The message is that you will buy your child little toys whenever you are out shopping. Try to limit these purchases to birthdays and special occasions. Otherwise, your child will expect gifts constantly and you will carry the burden of that constant extra expense. Ask yourself: “Does my child really need this?”
He or she probably doesn't and impulse buying is not an easy habit to break.
We give our children too many choices
I remember a dear friend asking her two year old daughter what she wanted to wear every morning. The little girl would always pick something that was not weather appropriate for winter in Colorado. As a result, getting ready in the morning became a huge battle that could have easily been avoided. Give your child two appropriate choices and let them pick one. This gives you the control of appropriate attire and makes your child feel that they have ownership of what they wear.
We do not acknowledge selfishness in our children
Teach your child that there are less fortunate people in the world. Let them see how you help in your community. Maybe it is baking a casserole for a sick friend or a visit to a senior facility. Your example will make a lasting impression.
We allow our children to be wasteful
Teach your child to be kind to the earth. Let your child be an active member around the house with collecting recyclable items. Remind them to save energy by turning off unnecessary lights at home. Show them that we all can make a difference for a healthier planet. But we all must do our part.
We raise our children to be spoiled brats
There is nothing worse than a spoiled child who demands all the goodies for himself or herself. When you have company, make sure that your child is being a gracious host. Compliment others who share. Your child will want to receive your positive compliments as well. Soon your child will see that sharing is not receiving less, but giving more.
We don't give our children a faith system
It is critical to give your child a faith or a belief in something. You do not have to have a definite religion, but a faith in something greater. It might be God, Buddha or simply a greater force. Also you do not need a specific religion to teach your child about kindness, sympathy, understanding, love and compassion.
We don't know our children's friends
You need to know who your child is hanging out with. Especially during the teen years. You also need to know the parents of your child's friends. Peer influence is tremendous especially during the teen years. Parents of quality will have children of quality.
We don't teach our children to value an education
You may have had a lousy school experience and you survived. So you don't see the need for caring about an education. Research proves that school is important. Don't you want more for your child, than you may have had as a child?
We don't take the time to take our children to the library.
Parents are the first teachers of their children. You need to send the message that reading is important and books matter. Successful readers find success throughout life.
We are too busy to monitor our children's television and computer game usage
Supervise what your kids are watching on television. Regulate when they are online.
You must control the time that your child spends playing video games. Monitor the
video game content. Expose your child to family television and Rated “G” movies.
Young children are not emotionally ready for much of what we view in theaters and
on television.
We want to be our children's friend, not their parent.
The world is full of friends for your child. What your child needs throughout his or her life is a parent. Parents provide guidance and support .While you may not always be popular, your child needs a parent more than another friend.
We don't give our children routines
Children need structure. It is wise for parents to set appropriate bed times for youngsters. It is also important that parents of teens set rules about curfew, driving, drugs and alcohol.
Finally, remember there will come a time when your child will be off to college. You as a parent will wistfully look back at all their abandoned childhood things. Our children leave home and they don't carry all the items of their childhood with them. However, they do carry eighteen years of good parenting, wisdom, guidance and love.
Unfortunately, we should be weening our children off their imaginary friends, rather than encouraging them to develop a dependency. Your point regarding instilling a "belief system" is non-inclusive, offensive, and just plain wrong to those of us who have been doing just fine without one. How about building self-confidence by having belief and faith in themselves and their communities?
#3 by Gina, Apr 16, 2008
"Imaginary friends" are YOUR opinion Shaun. But the author makes a point that we all need to have a faith in something. What do you do when tradegy strikes? I suggest that you talk to people who have suffered losses in their lives and they will tell you that a belief in something greater will get you through the crisis.
You sound like an angry person and I hope that you find the "confidence" that you wish to teach your children.
#4 by Gina, Apr 16, 2008
"tragedy" correction of spelling.
#5 by Rich, Apr 16, 2008
I am so sick of this it "takes a village mentality." Faith begins at home. Family is the lasting impression. Good article!
#6 by Shrink, Apr 16, 2008
Glad Shaun isn't my father.
#7 by Shaun, Apr 16, 2008
@Gina ... Sure, all of this dialogue is simply OUR opinions, including the article. I'm just stating my opinion because I found that it wasn't expressed in the article. It seems hard for you to believe that people make it through tragedy every day without any belief in a higher power, but they do. And for the record, I'm certainly not angry. I understand that belief in a higher power is comforting and useful to some people, but those reasons for belief seem like a crutch to me. I can teach my kids about kindness, sympathy, understanding, love and compassion [the reasons the author gives] and still be an atheist.
#8 by Mary, Apr 16, 2008
The author states that you do not need a specific religion to teach your child about kindness, sympathy, understanding, love and compassion. I feel that includes people who reject religious beliefs. Since I do believe in a higher power, I found the \"imaginary friend\" comment very offensive. You have a right to not believe in a higher power but please, don\'t ridicule believers.
#9 by Tina, Apr 16, 2008
Great article. I would like to respond to the comment on the faith system. Your opinion is valued Thanks for sharing. Personally, my faith in God has changed my life. The faith that I have has given me self-confidence. I don't consider it a crutch. To me it is a added benefit. I know that I know that I'm not alone in this world. It gives me peace and comfort. We all have a God Shaped void in our lives. How will we fill it? I'm not trying to convert anyone, but if you have never had a faith system how would you know that you are doing fine without it?
#10 by M., Apr 18, 2008
I agree with Mary and Tina. Thank you.
#11 by MG, Apr 18, 2008
I agree with Shaun
#12 by Milander, Apr 18, 2008
Only weak minded people need to ascribe blame to another \'higher\' figure, religion is a disease of the mind. It allows people to avoid facing up to reality and their own shortcomings. Shaun is right, end of story.
I do not allow my children to follow a faith, neither do I encourage them to seek one out. When they reach an age whereby they can decide to follow a faith then so be it but I will not encourage faith in them as it is mentally harmful, detrimental to their well-being and just plain wrong.
Good advice otherwise.
#13 by RAH, Apr 18, 2008
I agree with Shaun, but not with Milander. One doesn't NEED to have faith in order to develop good morality or positive ethics and I do believe it is possible and I personally have suffered tragedy and emotional hardship and have weathered and dealt with it without belief in a higher power, relying on my support system of friends and belief in my own strength of character and will. While many who have "faith" are often good people and have good value systems, there are also many a "believer" that feel and act morally superior and self-righteous, feel their value system makes them good human beings while committing atrocious acts. I believe that while correcting the other 10 deficiencies will increase the chances of our children becoming better and more productive members of societies who can also be more fulfilled and happy human beings, belief in a higher power, in and of itself has no inherent value or necessity other than the one we as individuals assign it.
#14 by RAH, Apr 18, 2008
Also, please do not take offense to this but: to a crippled or an injured person, a crutch is a benefit. That doesn't mean it's a bad thing but it is something that is needed by that person and one should not have to be ridiculed for it or suffer comments about it. The same can be said of faith. Without sounding condescending, magnanimous or pompous, if a person needs belief in any sort of higher power or God to help them with many of the psychological, emotional and spiritual demands of life, or just to keep them centered then it is right for that person and can and should be respected. However, my point still stands: belief in a higher power isn't necessary, nor is lack of faith a mistake that needs correcting.
#15 by G.B., Apr 18, 2008
The reference to my faith as having "imaginary friends is offensive. I am not a religious person but I have tolerance for different beliefs.
#16 by W.G., Apr 18, 2008
I hope all parents are teaching their children tolerance, especially of others' views, beliefs and practices We have enough hate and bigotry in this world.
#17 by Ken, Apr 18, 2008
Good luck to all the non-believers who are trying to be parents. Think I will stick with my "imaginary friend".
#18 by Lisa, Apr 18, 2008
When I came to this site, I was pleased to find some excellent suggestions on parenting. However, some of the comments are troubling. If you don't need faith to raise a child, skip that suggestion. I don't understand the hostility against parents who want to include faith in their homes. I didn't expect a diatribe on religion.
#19 by Nikki, Apr 18, 2008
As a non-believer myself, I think the reason why there is such \'hostility\' is the fact that we are being told we are making a mistake by not teaching our children there is a higher power.
I don\'t believe in a higher power and I don\'t teach my children of one either. We don\'t need a higher power to teach our children kindness, sympathy, understanding, love and compassion, thats what we parents are here for.
#20 by TD, Apr 18, 2008
The majority of people in this country believe in a God or Supreme Power. Many would disagree with the decision to raise a child without any faith. If you feel this is the right decision for you, don't be angry at the people who do not share your views. All parents can teach children kindness, sympathy, understanding, love and compassion.
#21 by Kendra, Apr 18, 2008
These are SUGGESTIONS people. The author is not recommending any specific religion. You are taking this way too personally.
#22 by Faith, Apr 18, 2008
It is true that the writer of this article is not enforcing religion. But as a parent I feel sorry for those of you who cannot point to a significant being in any religion to be a good example. In all faiths of religion, parents of faith can base kindness, sympathy, understanding and compassion as cornerstones for their religion. Who do you turn to as examples to your children? Our societ does not have many wonderful examples.
So regardless of what agnostics are saying in this forum, it is not the way many of us were raised.
I personally find the "imaginary friend" comment belittling and highly disrespectful.
I hope that there is an "imaginary hell" too.
I will pray for you.
#23 by Dan, Apr 18, 2008
I'm with the others who think that a religion is not necesary to raise a good, loving and moral child. The author clearly states that it is a mistake to not instill a religous belief in your child. I feel insulted by this as I have every intention of teaching my child to be good and tolerant of others as well as give her room to make her own decisions into what she believes. I really do not feel that it is up to parents to make this religion decision for a child when they are too young to think for themselves.
Maybe Shaun's "imaginary friend" quote sounded a little intolerant but it is nothing like the constant intolerance that us Atheist face from others in this country every single day.
#24 by R.P., Apr 18, 2008
Respect is what is lacking here with non-believers. The "imaginary friend" was TOTALLY off base and rude.
No one here made any offensive comments about non-believers. Hey, that is YOUR business to not believe. I don't really care!
Intolerance is everywhere. We all can come up with times that our faith, lack of faith, skin color and gender has been treated with intolerance.
Quit whining. We all have complaints, so take a number and then just get in line and shut up.
#25 by M.M., Apr 18, 2008
Like it or not atheists, this country was founded as "One nation, under GOD."
It is pretty ironic that you agnostics are pitching a fit here.
The irony is that because we live in this country, you have the right to free speech. This free country is founded on a religion that you feels persecutes you.
You want to be properly persecuted?
Move somewhere where you do not have the right to practice your non-beliefs.
America was founded on the priciples of the Christian faith. Sorry if that offends you. But your attitude in this forum offends me and obviously many others.
#26 by Com-e-di-an, Apr 19, 2008
I am offended by your comment regarding impulse buying.
I personally wish to spend every dollar I earn creating a spoiled rotten child and that is my right!
I want to be bankrupt before my child reaches kindergarten.
Ha!
#27 by Reverend Joe, Apr 19, 2008
.
For non-believers, life is a bitch and then you die.
For believers, life can still be a bitch, but then you rise.
Best of luck to you all!
#28 by Bryan Paddock, Apr 19, 2008
I can't actaully believe the number of people here that still believe in an imaginary friend. It's 2008 people. Open your mind. Do your research.
It is downright offensive to imply that you are a bad parent if you do not teach your kid religion. I will NEVER teach my kid about religion. If he asks I will tell him/her the truth. That it was a theory from the old days that has just never died.
@Kendra - No sure - The author says he is just offering tips. Then don't start the paragraph off with "it is critical to teach a faith system". I was still with him as I was expecting him to add a 'it may be faith in yourself' but no that never came. Only 'faith in a higher power'.
I do not want my kid believing in a higher power that doesn't exist. Plain and simple. I will teach him that he needs to believe in HIMSELF. That is something that religious people just do not understand. Whatever you think 'god' does in you - you are mistaken. It is YOU that has the power.
Milanda - you restore faith in humankind for me. That is the way to teach your child.
Ken - how dare you say that? I hope you repented for that.
But on another topic: I think the way that the author wrote this article is the wrong way around. Instead of accusing people of being bad parents, a safer option would be to write "we should not do this and that".
#29 by Emile, Apr 19, 2008
MM: America was *NOT* founded as "One nation, under god". The phrase "one nation under god" was added to the pledge of allegiance in the 50s...1950s. No founders had a hand in it.
The pledge itself didn't enter society until the 1890s.
You want to spout propaganda, best know your background.
#30 by Greg, Apr 19, 2008
According to Conserapedia,"The Declaration of Independence acknowledges the existence of a God when it refers to "the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God" and says all men "are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights." That statement was inserted by the author, Thomas Jefferson, whose religious beliefs were Deistic."
Also in the same article, "Many early Americans emigrated because of religious persecution in their home countries. The American Founding Fathers adhered to various sects of Christianity ranging from Catholicism, Protestantism and Deism. They recognized that Judeo-Christian tradition in addition to other legal traditions should inform the Constitution."
Before people in this forum get overly excited about the source of this article it was research using the following links,↑ "Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, August 24, 2006. Retrieved June 7, 2007.
↑ http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=000&invol=03-1500
↑ http://www.un.org/ga/president/55/speech/una_usa.htm
Retrieved from "http://www.conservapedia.com/United_States_of_America""
The phrase "One nation under God was added to the Pledge of Alligence at a later date is true. However it was added becasue of the fact the this country was founded way back in 1776 under those principles.
#31 by Yvette, Apr 19, 2008
It is funny how the word "propaganda" is thrown into this forum.
"Propaganda" is always used when one side has completely shut down from listening to the other side.
Also, your point is much more valid if you take the time to at least sound educated. Some the the opposing views on this site sound very uneducated and I cringe reading some of their comments.
It you are going to take the time to write a comment, take the time to edit your writing.
We all have differing beliefs and that is fine. But if you are unable to string a subject and a predicate together to form a sentence, you might want to think first about embarassing yourself and your viewpoint.
#32 by MK, Apr 19, 2008
Allow children to be children, Let them wear what they want, let them have an imaginary friend. Stop being a control freak and let your kids enjoy themselves.
#33 by F.W., Apr 19, 2008
I am not an Amercian-Christian, but an American-Buddist. I respect and understand the point that the author was making in this article about having a faith.
My faith is highly personal and it is not something I run around and advertise. My faith makes me a better human being and grounds me.
I know that some major religions are always trying to force others into believing what they believe. I understand the concern being voiced here.
But faith is quiet and intrinsic. It is never loud or blatant.
I think this was the point that the author was trying to make.
Buddhists in America are also treated sometimes as being different from the norm in this country. But in America we all have freedom to have or to not have a religion.
The author was not forcing religion upon any of us.
I know it is difficult for some people to understand the connection of faith to personal confidence. But for many of us, faith is the foundation of which our house is built. It is very precious to those of us who value its presence in our lives each and everyday. It is something that our parents gave to us and it is something that we will pass onto our children.
Best regards!
#34 by Shrink, Apr 19, 2008
Sure let your child be a kid. But if he or she is talking to imaginary friends constantly, I recommend counseling.
#35 by Geez, Apr 19, 2008
I am personally offended that you are offending me and that is making me feel offended. Everyone with an opinion is most likely to be offending someone else.
#36 by Kendra, Apr 19, 2008
So what if the author believes that it is "critical to have a faith system." It is her opinon. You do whatever you want.
The author is not personally attacking any of you.
#37 by Gina, Apr 19, 2008
If you people have so many issues with the author's feelings about giving your child a faith system. Then just apply the other ten excellent sugggestions and call it a day.
#38 by F.R., Apr 19, 2008
Friends,
I too was once agnostic. I too felt that "faith in myself" was all that I needed.
But one day, I suffered several life changing tragedies. I was lost and I was alone. I was depressed and I had no support system. I no longer saw the value in living.
You see all my life, up until that point, I panned religion or a "faith in a higher power," as I was proud of my self-reliance.
But during that moment of despair, when I lost all that I loved I met a woman who invited me to her church.
At first, I was leery of the invitation. My experiences with religious organizations and their members had always been such a turn off. I resented their aggressive mannerisms towards converting the world and I laughed in their faces.
But I atended to this meeting. To my surprise, it was not an attempt to convert me or anyone else. It was a discussion about life and the relationship of it to the Bible.
Now I know you atheists are rolling your eyes right now, but let me finish. I found a connection to those people in the room and I found faith in those words I was reading in the Bible.
You may mock my sincerity, but I was a changed person becasue I had found a solid ground on which to base my life.
I still do not attend church at all. But I do participate in church-oriented Bible study classes.
The study and fellowship in these gatherings has helped me find a purpose to my life. It has given me a direction I never had as a non-believer who was so confident about navigating this world alone.
So please don't belittle what you have not experienced. Try to keep an open heart and an open mind.
#39 by Elizabeth, Apr 19, 2008
I am an American Christian and was deeply moved by FW\'s comments. You are the voice of reason. Best regards to you.
#40 by Joseph, Apr 19, 2008
It might be God, Buddha or simply a greater force.”
The issue here is that Atheists do not believe in a greater force - understood. 90%+ of America are believers and it was built on the belief that there is a "Higher Power". We all have rights to believe the way we want. If you are a non-believer - you are still a believer. You believe there is no higher power -
ok.
Please teach your children kindness,sympathy,understanding,love and compassion for Us believers. For those that do have faith, please read on - The issues that your children face in these days is the lack of kindness, sympathy, understanding, love and compassion for their fellow man. You see it everyday on the Internet - explicit pictures and video on MySpace and YouTube. Girls video taping a beating of another girl just because of what she posted on the Net. Girls sending their boyfriends nude pictures to prove their love - just to have them posted for the world to see. Boys that were bullied and bringing guns to shoot up the school. They all want instant fame - what they got is ridicule and SHAME. If only these parents weren’t their friends and acted like a parent - a lot of these things would not be happening. Parents need to make their children accountable for their actions - not try to free them from their sins.
God Bless America! Pray that ALL parents will be able to properly raise their children in this troubled world in which we live in.
I will continue to believe in my “Imaginary Friend”! Thank you.
#41 by R.P., Apr 19, 2008
Amen to Joseph, Amen!
#42 by Believe it, Apr 19, 2008
A believer and a non-believer sat around the office lunch table taking a break. The non-believer sneezed.
"God bless you" said the believer.
"Oh, I don't believe in God" admitted the non-believer.
"So what do you think will happen to you after you are dead?"
Asked the curious believer of his co-worker.
"I will become the finest soil in which a thousand beautiful trees will grow" responded the non-believer.
"Well then, I believe that those trees will be cut down and made into thousands of Bibles" said the believer.
#43 by History Buff, Apr 19, 2008
You need to check your history Emile. While it is true that the founding fathers of this country did not add "One nation, under God" to the pledge. It was their desire to base this country on Christian principles. This was why "one nation under God" was added to the pledge over a hundred years later.
So, you are wrong Emile. This nation was founded as "one nation under God" and adherring to the principles of Christianity. The leaders who wrote the Constitution based it upon the structure of Christianity.
Our country's founders expressly mandated freedom for people, such as yourself, to speak freely however confused and misguided.
You Emilie, need to get your facts straight!
#44 by Dave, Apr 19, 2008
The eight mistake is something many parents make today. I see many parents pushing their children into sports or some other activity which their child has no interest in. Just because you've failed at football, ballet, basketball or piano, don't try to relive your failures by pushing your kid into doing it for you.
Education is important! Encourage them to take it seriously because you have better odds of winning the lottery than them becoming the next Michael Jordon for you.
#45 by Tim, Apr 20, 2008
Writers must have the courage to express their beliefs without fear of offending a particular segment of our population. Don't be pressured to exclude faith from your writings. In my opinion that is a form of censorship.
#46 by Larry, Apr 20, 2008
Good point Dave.
#47 by Greg, Apr 20, 2008
The eighth point made by Dave is completely true. We need our children to be educated. Encourage your child to go out and get an education and if he/she is an athlete maybe that will happen for them too. Our society values athletes more than Rhoade Scholars. This is a sad reality and it has to chenge or our country will not be able to compete in the future. We need to quit paying millions of dollars to an athlete who never would have made it into college, but did becasue he/she was athletic.
We need to reward those people who are more brainy than brawny.
#48 by MsAthiest, Apr 20, 2008
Hmmm. I was a committed atheist parent until I read all of this. I think now it\'s actually important to give my children a \"faith system\". Starting now I\'m converting to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and becoming a Pastaferian.
#49 by GH, Apr 20, 2008
Great article, but I disagree that you have to take your child to the library in order for them to be able to appreciate books. You can do the same thing by reading aloud to them (I still read to my son at bedtime, and he's almost 13 years old), by letting them see you read, and by encouraging them to pick up a book whenever they have free time. I submit the library is not the best place to foster a love of books, because one of the biggest joys of reading is discussing the books you love with another person (in this case, hopefully, the parent), and you aren't supposed to talk in the library.
Otherwise, I agree with all of the points you've made here.
#50 by Freddie , Apr 20, 2008
@ M.M.
Acutally, the phrase \"under God\" was added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954 by President Eisenhower, and is NOT part of the language used by the Founding Fathers of this country.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/nat_pled.htm
I\'m an agnostic and a parent who is raising an atheist (by his own choice) and I\'m frankly appalled by some of the comments here. The \"imaginary friend\" bit was clearly over the top, but so are the comments from many of the so-called believers who are certainly NOT acting out their faith in this thread.
#51 by r.T., Apr 20, 2008
My faith is my viewpoint and the lack of your faith is your viewpoint. But don't think that when you attack my faith I won't be insulted.
Good article.
#52 by Gina, Apr 20, 2008
http://www.purpleslinky.com/Humor/Satire/Ten-Tips-to-Not-Offend-People.111524
Another link by this author, partly motivated by this article.
It is on target too.
We as writers have the write to an opinion.
#53 by Rickie, Apr 20, 2008
Some of the comments in this forum are seeking to stifle the free speech rights of this author. That is censorship whether you have a faith system or not.
#54 by Believer, Apr 20, 2008
Congratulations on your conversion to the spaghetti faith. At least now you believe in something! Pasta is a beginning!
#55 by Library lover, Apr 20, 2008
If you cannot take your child to the library to read aloud, why not just check out a book and read it outside?
I work in a library. The library is a free resource to the public. It is an amazing opportunity for your child to explore a variety of subjects.
Most people cannot afford buying books all the time at a bookstore.
If you are justifying your reasons for not going to the library because you have to be quiet, I think you are forgetting the many genres of books available. What a shame to turn your child's back on something that is a vast resource.
May I suggest that you mention your concerns to your librarians.
Maybe they can work with you to find a space or a separate room where reading aloud is permitted.
But please for your child's sake, give your local library another chance.
#56 by H.R., Apr 20, 2008
Television is fine for kids. It gives me a chance to do the things I need to do and it is my babysitter.
#57 by For the record, Apr 20, 2008
Reading these comments was an eye opening experience for me.
But I happen to think that the first shot was fired way back in the beginning when someone referred to "imaginary friends."
What did you agnostics, atheists and non-believers think?
Did you think that believers would just let that comment fly?
Faith is an extrememly personal issue. If you non-believers can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen!
But never, ever insult a person's faith becasue I do not feel one bit sorry for you!
#58 by Milliner, Apr 20, 2008
I give my children faith in their reasoning minds, which is a huge step up from your idea that fear of a higher power should be their reason for not doing harm to others. And there's nothing wrong with selfishness as long as you have morality to prevent you from harming others. Enjoying what you earn is never wrong.
#59 by R.P., Apr 20, 2008
Doing harm to others is always wrong. I do not live in fear of a higher power. I have a faith system Milander and not a religion.
I have faith in humankind.
#60 by Jonf, Apr 20, 2008
Allow me to explain the importance of faith to those of you who choose to not have a faith. Here is a story that might make my point clearer, as I am Hindu and do not speak English well.
Family A has three beautiful children, who are not perfect and sometimes make mistakes. But they are loved by their parents just the same. The parents of this family would protect their children in any situation. They would risk their very lives for them. Their children are more precious to them than all the riches of the universe.
Family B is childless, by choice. They do not have to have children, as this is their right. No one is disputing this right.
But they do not have to protect and defend a any children either. They have no children that they compare to being more valuable than all the riches of the world.
Family B can find their faith in any other way that they can imagine.
But it is disrespectful to insult people who have faith and know the power of it. Until you hold in your heart these precious gems of faith, you will never truly understand why so many faith members have been so upset in this forum.
#61 by Gina, Apr 20, 2008
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
self·ish Audio Help /ˈsɛlfɪʃ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[sel-fish] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective 1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
Definition of selfishness from dictionary.com. There are other more suitable words for "enjoying what you earn."
Do not attempt to manipulate the author's words for your personal agenda.
[Origin: 1630–40; self + -ish1]
—Related forms
self·ish·ly, adverb
self·ish·ness, noun
Yeah, let's raise a self-interested, slef-seeking, egoistic, illiberal, parsimonious and stingy child.
NOT!
#63 by D.K., Apr 20, 2008
One of the best and most comprehensive articles I have read about parenting in a long time.
Don't let the negativity of a few, ruin your capable writing ability and valid opinion.
There will always be controversy and you as a writer cannot make everyone happy. Controversy will make you stronger. Stick to your opinions and do not let others malign your words with their own meaning.
#64 by R.P., Apr 20, 2008
It is a mistake to many of us. Respect that and move on with your life.
#65 by Thomas, Apr 20, 2008
You sir have provided a new LOW to the people who share your non-beliefs. I was listening to you for a while but your comment was downright revolting.
If you cannot share your comments in a mature and respectful way then it is best that you go elsewhere with your vulgarity and insults.
You are an embarrassment to all non-believers who are trying to make a point!
No wonder, non-believers are disliked in America. It is people such as yourself that will cause us to never make progress.
You have made all atheists and agnostics look like pond scum.
I was hoping some headway was being made in this forum for all views.
The author has spoken in her article and it is what it is.
Your final words have some far-reaching ramifications. Who will ever take non-believers seriously after your terrible final comments?
You truly disgust me.
#66 by F/R/, Apr 20, 2008
Hey LLC nice cut and paste.
#67 by Joel, Apr 20, 2008
Many believers do feel that lack of a faith system is a mistake. I am a non-practicing Jew and I wish to raise my children with a faith system.
If you don't know faith, please don't make fun of it.
I found the last comment disturbing.
#68 by S.D., Apr 20, 2008
The f bomb comment was magical. Did you run out of adjectives?
#69 by Z.F., Apr 20, 2008
Jesus Christ was not a cult leader. I am not even Christian and I do not believe that he was a cult leader!
Your facts are just words from some random site that you cut and paste. Shouldn't you site your references?
I think you LLC or whoever you are, have gone way overboard with your outlandish response.
The author did not insult me at all with her OPINION. I respect her message. I may not agree with all of it, but it is well-written and not deserving of your comments.
As a parent, I find this article to be genuine and real.
I thank the author for her patience and tolerance of these bimbos adding comments.
#70 by A Christian, Apr 21, 2008
Please forgive LLC, for he knows not what he says.
#71 by C.C., Apr 21, 2008
It is sad that you insulted Jesus Christ when you yourself have no leader to insult. Your comment was a blow below the belt.
But then how can I understand your lack of tolerance and compassion. I do not operate in your low mentality of a universe.
You chose to hurt the innocent. Does it make you feel like a bigger man?
Your reference to Jesus Christ and your four letter word made you lose all credibility.
#72 by Dave, Apr 21, 2008
The author believes in establishing a "faith system" for children. So what? I can respect her OPINION without insulting the entire religion of Christianity.
Maybe you LLC had better scroll back to what the Buddist gentleman said about faith.
"I am not an American-Christian, but an American-Buddist. I respect and understand the point that the author was making in this article about having a faith.
My faith is highly personal and it is not something I run around and advertise. My faith makes me a better human being and grounds me.
I know that some major religions are always trying to force others into believing what they believe. I understand the concern being voiced here.
But faith is quiet and intrinsic. It is never loud or blatant.
I think this was the point that the author was trying to make.
Buddhists in America are also treated sometimes as being different from the norm in this country. But in America we all have freedom to have or to not have a religion.
The author was not forcing religion upon any of us.
I know it is difficult for some people to understand the connection of faith to personal confidence. But for many of us, faith is the foundation of which our house is built. It is very precious to those of us who value its presence in our lives each and everyday. It is something that our parents gave to us and it is something that we will pass onto our children."
Isn't it ironic that a non-Christian BELIEVER summed it up best?
By the way, I can cut and paste too.
#73 by yes, Apr 21, 2008
I think getting insulted so easily when someone mentions that your god is a imaginary friend made you lose credibility.
Trying to hijack tolerance and compassion as the exclusive domain of believers made you lose credibility too.
The innocent. Hardly.
#74 by D.D., Apr 21, 2008
I believe in a FAITH SYSTEM too. I have the right to believe what I want and in who I want. Most Americans do believe in a FAITH SYSTEM. We don't live in a Godless society.
#75 by yes, Apr 21, 2008
Ahhh, if only we are a buddhist nation, then there would be less need for atheists to have such strong opinions.
#76 by Z.R., Apr 21, 2008
Insulted so easily? Did you read what was just said about Jesus Christ? That was hurtful and totally wrong.
You cannot make your point bashing faith. It is like taking a club and hitting an innocent victim over the head. Why don\'t you debate fairly? Debating is not low blows and personal attacks on one\'s faith.
I think many people in this forum have tried to address the issues fairly and rationally.
But some of you in this forum really are making the MAJORITY worry about what your non-faith is teaching you!
#77 by D.D., Apr 21, 2008
I have been reading the comments in this forum for about two days. I think that some of these comments are made by the same disgruntled non-believer operating under the guise of being anonymous and using various names.
#78 by JC, Apr 21, 2008
Faith is not something you have to prove.
That’s why it called Faith - Period
LLC seemed to be going somewhere until he lost respect for himself. It\'s people like this that need more kindness, sympathy, understanding, love and compassion that the author wrote about in point 6.
It must make you proud cursing at those that trying to have an intelligent discussion while you hide behind your keyboard.
You might want to stay off the \"Hate America First\" websites!
GOD – Yes, GOD Bless America and GOD bless you.
#79 by yes, Apr 21, 2008
Hurtful? Nothing compared to what was done and is being done by the so called faithful in this country. After seeing this country go down the dumps with believers running the show, and the things said and done to put down non-believers, I hardly care what these clowns think about me. If you think what non-believers are saying online to believers is hurtful, think about the stuff believers are doing to non-believers offline.
#80 by Thank you JC, Apr 21, 2008
I liked the comment about LLC hiding behind his keyboard. I agree completely.
I Googled his cut and paste effort and found he copied the same site that you JC mentioned.
But you got here first my friend and you said it best!
:)
#81 by D.D., Apr 21, 2008
You are a pathetic little man LLC and yes (who are probably the same coward hiding behind their keyboard).
Obviously if your parents had followed ten of the eleven suggestions made by the author, you would have been raised much better.
I feel sorry for you.
#82 by Dave, Apr 21, 2008
Dear LLC
I doubt the author is insulted by you and your other cyberself.
She probably wishes to write you a big thank you note for generating so many views.
May she smile all the way to the bank!
#83 by R.P., Apr 21, 2008
You should apologize then YES to all Christians on behalf of your poor, misguided alterego LLC.
#84 by Dave, Apr 21, 2008
I am no fan of the conservative party in this country YES. But you have to agree that the comment made by LLC in this forum was worse than anything anyone has said so far!
#85 by R.P., Apr 21, 2008
It is not just Christians and believers who have stood on the side of faith here in this forum. If you bothered to read the 86 comments some are written by members of other faith communities such as Hindu, Buddist and Jewish.
Faith is a non-denomination. It has no religion.
Believe what you what to believe. But do not insult the many faithful who have spoken out in this forum from many backgrounds.
You have portrayed yourself as a "faith hater" here this evening with your insults and low blows.
NOTHING was ever said in this forum that was as negative and hurtful as what was said about Jesus Christ.
You can cut and paste your hateful trash in the comment section and pick different names.
But we here have lost all hope of an educated discussion with a person of your mentality.
In the future let's keep this discussion educated and respectful.
If you can't say something helpful that leads to understanding on both sides, kindly refrain from commenting.
#86 by To LLC, Apr 21, 2008
Strong words, I agree with the sentiment but not how it was said. Non-believers have been marginalized in this country. It was only recently that we move on up above Scientologists as being electable. It is sad that our only venue for recourse is lamenting online where even then, we are accuse of 'hurting' ppl's feelings.
#87 by FSM, Apr 21, 2008
I think 'space daddy' sounds cooler than 'imaginary friend'. But my faith is in the great Flying Spaghetti Monster. Knowing that a volcano beer and strippers will be waiting for me in the afterlife helps get me through the hardest times. It has also made me a better person.
#88 by Mark, Apr 21, 2008
I cannot understand for the life of me WHY, people rely so much on an old book full of fables to make us feel good. I grew up catholic and then grew out of the need for all the "theatrics". Children have an innate gift of intelligence that is never really challenged. Unfortunately, in my quest for and subsequent journey for knowledge, I have come to the conclusion that religion is/was used to keep the masses and or society at a disadvantage intellectually.
I have raised wonderfully gifted and successful children all with the education given that they can believe what they wish but they were also encouraged to "think" for themselves. Solve problems with thier own brain instead of running to a book of old passages.
#89 by Y.L., Apr 21, 2008
This is by far the best article I have read about parenting.
I think the author's points are clear and comprehensive. I highly recommend this article!
This is a funny piece written by the same author. If you want to laugh out loud check this out!
#91 by Diana, Apr 21, 2008
Thank you so much for your wise words. I truly appreciate you incorporating faith into your parenting tips. My faith is so important to me and of course I will raise my children the same way.
I like how your suggestions are clear and well-written.
Congratulations!
#92 by Five Star Review, Apr 21, 2008
Excellent article. It is concise and to the point. We are enjoying your writing pieces tremendously!
#93 by Tennis Friend, Apr 21, 2008
We finished reading your tips for parenting that are posted here and found them very true and helpful.
We then checked out your link left by D.R. and we were laughing to the point of tears. It was hilarious!
I plan on bookmarking this site, as well as the "Tips to Not Offend People."
It is so refreshing to see a writer speak the truth and not tiptoe around controvery.
We never knew that you were so multi-talented!
Go girl!
#94 by Tennis Friend, Apr 21, 2008
controversy!*
One complaint though..this site is very slow!! Maybe it is because it is so popular!
#95 by Thank you, Apr 21, 2008
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs out there. It is a 24 hours a day and 7 days a week vocation.
Your suggestions will help so many parents.
I also liked how in the title you use "Mistakes We Make."
You chose a very humble title and as parents it is nice to know that we all make mistakes and we too are always continue to learn.
Best of all, your writing is never preachy or spoken in a tone that would make us feel inferior.
#96 by valli, Apr 22, 2008
Great post! All parents should read this.
#97 by Barb, Apr 22, 2008
I wanted to take a minute to tell you that I throughly enjoyed your writing piece. Thank you for your valued opinion.
#98 by N.M., Apr 22, 2008
It is so refreshing to read such an honest and intelligent piece from obviously someone who is surviving parenting. We all make mistakes as parents and it is truly a joy to see an author who includes herself in the "WE" title.
#99 by Nan, Apr 22, 2008
Thanks!
#100 by Maureen, Apr 22, 2008
Love it!
#101 by Ty, Apr 22, 2008
Great ideas!
#102 by JG, Apr 22, 2008
I thought a forum was an outlet for discussion, not a hate monger's pulpit. Don't waste your time responding to malicious garbage.
#103 by G.L., Apr 22, 2008
Thank you for a well-written article. You have some outstanding bits of advice for all parents. For some parents, the truth is hard to take, but it needs to be said. We all think we are perfect and sometimes someone needs to show us the right direction.
I enjoy your work immensely.
Best to you!
#104 by Great info!, Apr 22, 2008
This is the one of the best articles about parenting that I have read in a long time. You know your topic well.
#105 by G.K., Apr 22, 2008
This is a great article written by a literate author. It is unfortunate that these bozos are allowed to speak their trash.
But the true scholars will rise above the garbage and truly see the value in this article and in providing a FAITH SYSTEM for your child!
#106 by I have faith and I am proud of it, Apr 22, 2008
Having faith in something is a miracle. If you have not experienced this miracle of faith, you have lost all credibiliy with every decent person making comments in this forum.
If you have nothing else to do but sit in your mother's basement bashing something you know nothing about and hiding behind your keyboard, then you are one sad person.
#107 by Great article!, Apr 22, 2008
I do have to explain my faith. You do not have to explain your lack of it. Some peeople in this forum continue to say terrible things about those of us with faith. But I will not stoop to their level.
#108 by G.G., Apr 22, 2008
This is such a wonderful piece of writing! Thank you!
#109 by HM, Apr 23, 2008
WOW! This is amazing, so many comments about religion and faith of a higher being, yet so many say it isnt important to them. why does it consume you then? If it bothers you then you need to ask yourself why? If a young child asks about God, and their own parent denies them the right to have a belief system, that sounds very controlling and non-democratic to say the least. I loved your aticle Julie, especially the importance of parents, video games/movies. I am an educator as well. I see the results of that. Parents, love your kids, parent them, guide them, tell them NO! Sometimes that is a way to say that you LOVE them! They will thank you later!
#110 by DM, Apr 23, 2008
Dear Milander,
Let me ask you what the ages are at your local Al- Fresco (bar) are? Lets see? The reason they go are... maybe they\'re afraid to face their own realities of life so they sit and analyze the local church congregation? Do you even hear how you sound? MMMM? Maybe those people in church realize how human they are and how much they need a direction. That will not come from pointing fingers, analyzing other people\'s lives, but by humbling themselves and opening up their hearts, minds, spirits to a possible higher being. What if there is one? If so, do you think He/It, loves you? I think so. Good luck and may GOD bless you where you are in your search of HIM!
#111 by Dr. A.B., Apr 23, 2008
Dear Friends,
I have worked for over 40 years with non-believers and perhaps I can shed a little light on their frame of mind.
Non-believers want more than anything to be believers. But their stubborn attitude causes them to deny what they truly want. Non-believers want a faith more than anything else, but they would never admit it. Instead they choose to insult those of us who are members of the faith community. They insult all denominations and religions because they have denied their subconscious the ability to take over. Their sub-conscious wants a faith!
Basically they bury their true feelings and become hostile to prove to themselves that they are happy denying a faith. But they are not happy and they know that. They also know that something is missing from their lives.
Non-believers suffer from a condition called "faith envy."
They envy and want a faith, but they repress their true feelings.
It is a vicious cycle. They want faith, but they deny faith intensely.
Non-beleivers know that faith is not a fairy tale. Most non-believers are of above-average intelligence, although we are not seeing many of the intellectuals in this forum unfortunately.
So non-believers are in a constant state of self-denial which they use to protect themselves from admitting they long for something which to believe.
You really cannot reason with those who take your debate in a circle, over and over. But trust me, your message is getting through and they can feel it. They are human after all.
The parents in this forum who are upset with the author for stating "it is critical to establish a faith system for your child" are just upset because the author has said in a nice way that they are wrong. No one likes to be wrong.
Sadly, many of my non-believing patients die with no faith. But some at the moment of impending death become Catholic, Buddhist, Christian or Jewish.
You see in my studies, I have found that non-beleivers are very afraid of dying alone. They wonder about life after death and they want it.
Non-believers and believers have existed since the beginning of time. Both sides will never see eye to eye. But the non-believers want to believe, they really do. Their pride gets in the way of a destiny that is theirs for the taking.
My non-believer friends, faith lives within you. It lives within all of us. No one can take it away. You can insult us over and over again, but we won't fall. Our faith is only stronger!
My non-believer friends, you see the golden ring of faith before you! Take it, treasure it. It lives within your heart. Stop denying its presence in your life! Grab the ring my friends!
Praise God!
#112 by A Mom, Apr 23, 2008
What an inspirational message in the preceeding comment!
I just wanted to tell the author here that I thought her article was exceptionally well-written and full of wise suggestions.
#113 by h.R., Apr 23, 2008
Non-believers are not lacking faith. But they are full of doubt!
We all go through moments of doubt, that is a normal part of being human.
God is great!
#114 by Used to be a non-believer, Apr 23, 2008
First of all, I wish to praise the author of this article for writing such a timely piece. I also am thankful for this forum and the opinions of the INTELLIGENT.
Finally, IT IS A CRITICAL MISTAKE TO RAISE YOUR CHILD WITHOUT A FAITH SYSTEM. I know this from personal experience!
#115 by t.j., Apr 23, 2008
Praises to all people who have embraced a faith! Whether is is a specific religion or a way of life.
#116 by Kim, Apr 23, 2008
Faith is like insurance. You are glad you have it when you need it most.
Great article. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
#117 by Laura, Apr 23, 2008
Many thanks to Dr. A.B. for helping us understand a non-believer's frame of mind. Intelligent comments.
#118 by Elaine, Apr 23, 2008
I discovered a wonderful new author. Great common sense approach to parenting. Enjoyed all of your articles and stories. They brought me smiles, outloud laughter and even a few tears. Can't wait for your novel.
#119 by Beth, Apr 23, 2008
Everyone needs to scroll and read Dr. A.B.'s comments!
#120 by Sue, Apr 23, 2008
Yes, scroll back and read the Doctor's comments.
Great article!
#121 by Rexanne Mancini, Apr 23, 2008
Excellent parenting advice, although the rants for/against faith are distracting, they are valid points.
As for examples in our society of "compassion, kindness, respect for others and self, etc. parents would be wise to be those examples themselves to best influence their children and raise morally and ethically sound kids. This doesn't have to be religion-based. I think it has much more impact when parents are setting these examples of behavior which is ultimately more powerful than trying to "pick" a religion or faith-based assumption on how we *should* behave.
#122 by Fay, Apr 23, 2008
what a faulous article the author has written! Cheers!
#123 by J,J., Apr 23, 2008
I really liked the comment written by Dr. A.B. Everyone should scroll to read it. It gives us all a deeper understanding.
Thank you also for this wonderful article.
Prents everywhere will be glad that they read it!
#124 by Dr. A.B., Apr 23, 2008
Dear Friends,
I have worked for over 40 years with non-believers and perhaps I can shed a little light on their frame of mind.
Non-believers want more than anything to be believers. But their stubborn attitude causes them to deny what they truly want. Non-believers want a faith more than anything else, but they would never admit it. Instead they choose to insult those of us who are members of the faith community. They insult all denominations and religions because they have denied their subconscious the ability to take over. Their sub-conscious wants a faith!
Basically they bury their true feelings and become hostile to prove to themselves that they are happy denying a faith. But they are not happy and they know that. They also know that something is missing from their lives.
Non-believers suffer from a condition called "faith envy."
They envy and want a faith, but they repress their true feelings.
It is a vicious cycle. They want faith, but they deny faith intensely.
Non-believers know that faith is not a fairy tale. Most non-believers are of above-average intelligence, although we are not seeing many of the intellectuals in this forum unfortunately.
So non-believers are in a constant state of self-denial which they use to protect themselves from admitting they long for something which to believe.
You really cannot reason with those who take your debate in a circle, over and over. But trust me, your message is getting through and they can feel it. They are human after all.
The parents in this forum who are upset with the author for stating "it is critical to establish a faith system for your child" are just upset because the author has said in a nice way that they are wrong. No one likes to be wrong.
Sadly, many of my non-believing patients die with no faith. But some at the moment of impending death become Catholic, Buddhist, Christian or Jewish.
You see in my studies, I have found that non-beleivers are very afraid of dying alone. They wonder about life after death and they want it.
Non-believers and believers have existed since the beginning of time. Both sides will never see eye to eye. But the non-believers want to believe, they really do. Their pride gets in the way of a destiny that is theirs for the taking.
My non-believer friends, faith lives within you. It lives within all of us. No one can take it away. You can insult us over and over again, but we won't fall. Our faith is only stronger!
My non-believer friends, you see the golden ring of faith before you! Take it, treasure it. It lives within your heart. Stop denying its presence in your life! Grab the ring my friends!
Praise God!
#125 by J.D., Apr 23, 2008
What a moving comment!
#126 by Canadian Mom, Apr 23, 2008
Oh and to the person who says that non-believers suffer from faith envy: I have never met someone so delusional before. Why would I be jealous of someone who believes in a god???? I think you are just trying to justify why someone would not want to believe in the same thing you do. Please spare us your sermon.
#127 by Canadian Mom, Apr 23, 2008
My first comment never posted, but I had to note that this article had me right up to the 'faith' part of it. No, a child does not require a faith to be a good person. I am so sick of people who think that lack of religion is the reason for today's issues. Please... Tolerance of religion is one thing. A requirement to be a good adult.... NO
#128 by H.P., Apr 24, 2008
This really is a fantastic article about parenting. As the gentleman in a previous comment stated, \"no one likes to hear that they are wrong.\"
Thanks to the author for her insight and courage to speak the truth.
#129 by Tia, Apr 24, 2008
My posts are also having trouble getting through and I think it is the poularity of this author's topic.
I enjoyed the author's article. I personally would not raise a child without a faith system. But what you choose to do is your business.
It is refreshing to see an author who brings a little debate into a forum.
#130 by Cecil, Apr 24, 2008
Words well-spoken. Keep up the good work! :)
#131 by Tammy, Apr 24, 2008
I am an African-American Christian. I shutter to think what would have happened to the Civil Rights Movement in this country if we had not possessed a faith system.
Belief in God is a cornerstone to our heritage in America. Our churches are meeting places for inspiration and fellowship.
The very roots of who we are as a people is buried in our faith.
Our songs and spirituals touch and move our very souls.
Faith alone has pulled us out of the desert and into the promised land. We fought, marched and prayed together.
Now we are finally free!
"Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty we are free at last." ( Dr. Martin Luther King Jr-Christian and Civil Rights Leader)
#132 by Rachel, Apr 24, 2008
I enjoyed this writing piece, as well as all the author's writing pieces.
Gandhi once said, "Every living faith must have within itself the power of rejuvenation if it is to live. Just as the body cannot exist without blood, so the soul needs matchless and pure strength of faith....My effort should never be to undermine another's faith but to make him a better follower of his own faith....Even as a tree has a single trunk but many branches and leaves, there is one religion-- human religion--but any number of faiths."
Faith has motivated great men and women in this country. Our faith system makes this country great.
Do not undermine the faithful. Unless you know the power of faith, you cannot knock it.
Great article!
#133 by T.C., Apr 24, 2008
I agree with Tammy. African-Americans have been raised in a culture that is centered on our faith.
We are not going to abandon our heritage and very culture arguing over whether or not to raise our children in a faith system.
I commend the author's honesty!
#134 by P.B., Apr 24, 2008
In my Baptist church, our faith tells us this:
Know God, Know faith.
No God, No faith!
#135 by F.R., Apr 24, 2008
This was an interesting article. I am glad to see people of faith standing up for their beliefs. Sometimes it feels like we are being made to live in a faithless society. We end up sanitizing everything we say, so we do not anger someone else who is a non-believer.
To believe or not believe is your right as an American. Many Americans have died perserving your right to chose.
I cannot persoanlly imagine raising a child without giving him/her the gift of faith.
Life is tough enough to go it alone!
Good article!
#136 by dd, Apr 24, 2008
I am going to give my child a faith system. The author has spoken for many others of us.
Thank you!
#137 by :), Apr 24, 2008
Well done article!
#138 by mmmmk, Apr 24, 2008
Sometimes, I do feel the need to believe in Santa Claus, he brings presents and gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. But I know the one true god is the Flying Spaghetti Monster and I will definitely make sure my kids get to know the FSM faith. But I certainly hope my kids won't force the FSM teachings onto others (like some faith systems) or worse, try to use our government to spread its gospels.
#139 by J. and R., Apr 24, 2008
We really are enjoying your srticles and this one particularily hits home. Well done!
#140 by dd, Apr 24, 2008
Your Ten Tips to Not Offend People is so funny!
#141 by j and r, Apr 24, 2008
articles*
#142 by Fi, Apr 24, 2008
I really appreciate the good and sound advice in this article.
I agree with giving your child a faith system as well.
#143 by C.C., Apr 24, 2008
This is such a helpful bit of advice.
A faith system is important.
#144 by H.V., Apr 24, 2008
I believe also that a faith system is important to raising a child.
#145 by Donna Marie Gray, Apr 25, 2008
Wonderful article! These suggestions reflect all that is in my book, "Back to the Basics... (A How-To Book on Raising Baby With Common Sense)" You have perfectly highlighted and summerized the major problems with parenting in society today. Those that knit-pick at individual issues that do not agree with their personal thinking are obviously not paying attention to the whole picture. Very perceptive and pointedly frank. Thanks for sharing.
#146 by H.H., Apr 25, 2008
http://www.gomestic.com/Family/The-Parent-Trap-13-Tips-for-Teen-Parenting.
Another fantastic article by the same author!
#147 by D.D., Apr 25, 2008
I like how this author has addressed the issues of the WHOLE child. She goes beyond common sense and uses her experience as an educator and a parent to give parents an indepth analysis in simple terms as to what is CRITICAL to raising a child.
I highly recommend the author's other published pieces also. She has some excellent writing pieces on the various triond sites.
She has written about "Standardized Testing Tips for Parents" in her latest article on a triond site.
This author also has shown us all her versatility in writing non-fiction short stories and satire. Her satire is written like something we might see on "Saturday Night Live. It is laugh out loud hilarious!
http://www.triond.com/users/juliane+elliott
#148 by Shelly McRae, Apr 25, 2008
I found this article preachy and condescending. The author assumes all parents are lousy parents if they don't follow her dictates.
#149 by Heidi, Apr 25, 2008
I found this article very helpful and insightful.
Thank you for your expertise and advice.
I look forward to reading your other pieces of writing.
#150 by R.R., Apr 25, 2008
There are some pretty lousy parents out there, but this article is not preaching to anyone. If you are a parenting and searching for advice, you probably are at least interested in doing a good job and that is most of the battle.
The "choir" of parents (excuse the religious connection, if you find this offensive), are always trying to be better parents.
Unfortunately, it is the minority of parents out there who need this advice but won't ever seek out the resources to improve.
Loved this article!
#151 by mangekyou!, Apr 25, 2008
GOD IS REAL FOOLS!!!
#152 by A Dad, Apr 25, 2008
I think is is strange that people here could be insulted. The suthor is not saying "YOU", she is saying "WE."
Nicely done!
#153 by Previous comment correction, Apr 25, 2008
author*
#154 by Observer, Apr 25, 2008
First off, great tips for those of us who need a hint or so, I will definitely remember these for my future!
Secondly, I seem to have found a common aspect in the non-believers\' arguments. They back up their \"belief in no belief\" statements with words that are aimed at those who do believe in order to be hurtful. I just wanted to know: Does that make you feel better when you do that?
I\'ve found those who are truly in the faith try their best to accept those as they come to them, and don\'t try to convert those who don\'t believe. But, as I\'m sure many of you know, we\'re all human. We make mistakes. Isn\'t that the difference between God and human?
I really did enjoy myself seeing these discussions, however, because, as I am merely a 17 year old, I am still learning about other people\'s viewpoints. My age also probably gives me a small amount of authority to say that yeah, we children do need all this stuff, but only you (the parents) can add this structure to our lives. If you refuse to do this, you are making a big mistake. I have many friends who had friends instead of parents, and they suffer greatly. First, they lose respect for their parents, second, they lose a sense of their own responsibility. If you don\'t teach your children healthy habits, no one will. And they seldom learn them on their own.
God bless all of you, especially those of you who are aiming to hurt.
#155 by G.K., Apr 25, 2008
This was not a negative article at all. It is interesting to hear from those of you who thought that it was such.
I think some of the parents in this forum suffer from the guilt of knowing what they SHOULD be doing as parents and DO NOT.
It is always difficult to be proven WRONG.
Enjoyed the article.
#156 by Reader , Apr 25, 2008
Interesting comment from the 17-year old student. She has the gist of what is and has been said both in this forum and in the article.
I think some of these readers are overanalyzing what is stated clearly.
This article is very well-done.
It is obviously writtn by someone who has some knowledge of the subject.
Let's respect the article's content for WHAT it says and not read into it what we fear we are lacking.
#157 by Andy-N, Apr 25, 2008
As a parent I must say I looked at this to compare the things my wife and I set out to do. These are all things that we also find important to address.
I would add #12 - PArents are not accountable for their kids.
I also would like to add that the hang up with the faith point is odd. There are 11 items on the list and that has to be a lightning rod? Seriously do these people think that any morality and interest in the answer to life's important questions are not things parents discuss with their children? That explains a lot of problems in society. Religion is just a way of life people. You can take it to whatever level you want.
#158 by Laura, Apr 25, 2008
Faith is important. I agree with Andy.
#159 by Steve, Apr 25, 2008
I wish to respond To Andy's comment. I agree with his opinion regarding faith wholeheartedly. It does seem hard to believe that when answering life's most important questions that parents should not have a faith or a philosophy about life. If you wish to take your faith or philosophy to a religion, then that is your business as well.
No one in this forum is cramming any religion down anyone's throat. Quite to the contrary.
#160 by Matthew, Apr 25, 2008
All forms of religion are fairy tales in my opinion. I choose to not buy into the nonsense.
But I do have a concept of faith and that is what I will pass onto my children.
#161 by Question, Apr 25, 2008
Please explain how "Parents are NOT accountable for their children?"
If your kids are under 18, parents most certainly are accountable for their children.
Did I read this correctly?
#162 by F.K., Apr 25, 2008
Yes, I had the same question about Andy's comment.
