Many adults feel at a loss about what to do with their kids. They feel stupid playing pretend, and they don't like to get down on the floor or in the dirt. If you fall into this category, that is ok. Here are some suggestions ten things you can do that don't involve much (if any) change in your behavior.
Cook with them.
Kids can be incredibly helpful in the kitchen, and the chances are that they will want to spend that time with you. If they're very small, they can find utensils, put away clean dishes or find the ingredients for you. They can also help with adding pre-measured ingredients. If they're a little bit bigger, they can help measure themselves, stir, chop or read you the recipe. If you're making sugar cookies, kids are excellent with helping with the cookie cutters and the shapes they have cut, and they will love decorating them once they have baked. You're expanding their horizons as well as math skills and having some fabulous quality time.Play sports with them.
Your kids want to do what you do. If you like any team sports, start playing them with your kids early. It doesn't matter if they can't hit the ball or make the basket. They will be exercising their bodies and minds, as well as their love for you. Read with them.
Kids are much more inclined to develop a love of reading, if their parents demonstrate one by sharing it with them. Read magazine articles with them, and then talk about the content. Read them children's books. The classics are classics for a reason. Take them shopping.
Whether you're just looking or you have a specific purchase in mind, they will appreciate the time spent with you. Ask them about the things they like or do not like. Involve them in the decision process, even though the ultimate call is yours. Explain what you are buying and why, or have them explain why they want something or what use they think it might have. Play board games with them.
Most mainstream adult board games have a version for children. They help teach them facts, they help them learn to spell or to read, and they help them develop a sense of fair play, as well as social skills and patience as they wait for their turn. Listen to the music that you enjoy with them.
Your kids may not necessarily like what you like, but the more facets of your personality they can associate to you, the more your kids will appreciate you as a person. Also, as they gain experience in life and the world, someday down the road, they might just decide that your music is not so bad after all. Eat with them in public.
Eating together is a great thing to do with your kids, but in public it makes it even better. You can help them learn social skills and polite manners, as well as people watching and making up games and stories with them that do not involve tangible toys. Take them to cultural events.
There are a few different ways to do this. The traditional theater setting at the ballet or the opera may or may not be conducive to your child's attention. Some kids can sit still for hours with no problems, but some need to move around. There are alternatives for children like this. There are many outdoor amphitheaters and stage setups that will allow for a lawn or some other casual sitting area. The way you will know which will work best for this kind of situation is that they will allow “babes in arms” to be present at their performances. The benefits are that they will be exposed to entertainment that might not be typical for them, and particularly if you explain what about the group or performance is so special, most children will at least remember it and many will appreciate it very much.
Take them on “dates”.
Take special time out with one of your children at least once a month and go do something with them alone. Go out to dinner, or a movie. Go see a play. Go shopping. It's important that you make arrangements so that this is just the two of you. Whether they admit it, acknowledge it or not, the fact that you took time out just to be with them by themselves will mean the world.Sit with them while you relax in the evening.
Make sure that they are a part of your family circle and that when you need to relax that means you want to be with them instead of worrying about work or whatever needs to be worried about at the moment. Involve them in choosing what TV shows to watch, or read them funny or interesting articles from the newspaper. Make sure that everyone in your family gets a chance to unwind together and there will be a greater sense of unity from the whole group.
The bottom line is that you do not have to regress in age or maturity to enjoy your children's company, and the more you try to include them in the things you like to do anyway, the more they will appreciate you and your influence in their lives.
The thing that makes someone good with children usually is not that they are immature or get down on their level: it's that they know how to include those children in almost anything, no matter what is going on.
