It's simply an honor to be invited to someone's wedding. Just the knowledge that they wanted you to share the joy of “their day” is priceless. If you're invited to the reception dinner as well, it's not as simple. That honor is generally calculated and expected to be at least but not limited to the sum of cost per catered plate for yourself “and guest.”
Fortunately couples bound for wedded bliss now register with stores selling merchandise they wish to receive as gifts. This avoids the past phenomenon of newlyweds owning seven new toasters at once. On the positive side, those couples were prepared for a garage sale immediately after moving into the new love nest. Since today's couples register at a store, you may now consult the store's registry, and see that the one remaining selected item that nobody has bought the lovebirds yet is the “pearl-handled crepe-serving trowel” which is in stock and priced at $247.95, gift wrapped.
It's an even more prestigious honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid. This will mean shelling out hundreds of dollars for a dress, usually chosen by the bride. This garment will only be useful again if you become a fairy godmother. On rare occasions, the more tasteful ones have been successfully altered to become conservative enough for Halloween. The best man's duties are to make a few phone calls to organize a bachelor party. In extreme cases he may even have to look up some numbers that aren't on his cell phone.
If you find yourself a guest at a wedding where you're unfamiliar with the families, there are things to keep in mind. The ceremony won't hold the same entertainment value for you, but when an usher asks “Friend of bride or groom?” it's considered tacky to request a window seat. There are ways of keeping yourself amused. After you hear the question “Do you take this man?” just how long is the pause before the answer? Is there a drum roll? Is the answer free of ventriloquism? And when the couple's pronounced “man and wife” is one side of the newly attached family high-fiving each other?
A first marriage for both bride and groom calls for the most elaborate gala. If it's the third marriage for either party, the concept starts to look less like matrimony and more like timeshare. The bride is encouraged to wear white, regardless of how colorful her courtship. Some reception guests of simpler times were fooled by a white gown, assuming the bride was chaste only to have that image shattered by a bridesmaid's candid preamble to her seventh champagne toast.
All costuming for this theatric spectacle is interesting. The bride will spend a few weeks' salary on a wedding dress to be worn once and carefully packaged away in a relative's closet for decades. The groom will make lifelong vows wearing a tux rented from a location convenient to his best man's place of work, during a lunch break. The bride believes her daughter will one day take her vows in the same gown. The tux needs to be stuffed through a return slot the following day by 5.
It's traditional for the bride to toss the bouquet to her bridesmaids, imagining that whoever catches it will be the next to marry. When this custom began, only single ladies would try to catch the matrimonial flowers. Now all bets are off because multiple marriages are normal. In Hollywood marriage licenses are sold in six-packs.
At some point during the big day there will probably be a reception line with the bridesmaids standing beside the bride in her spectacular gown. This may well be our only chance to say something to the bride all day. We don't want to monopolize too much of her time in the reception line, so we simply say to her “You look beautiful.” And all brides do look beautiful on their wedding days, If not naturally then by the insurance of carefully chosen bridesmaids' dresses.
But what really matters is the knowledge that there will be a lifetime of gorgeous memorable images from this day, no matter what. The couple had the foresight to hire a photographer who's handy with an airbrush.
