In your life you will be a houseguest. Although it might
start out with good feelings, there comes a moment when
you move from honoured guest to burden.
Don't wait for it.
Leave just before it happens so you might be invited back.
To postpone that moment, follow these simple tips.
Firstly, check and recheck if they really meant to invite
you.
"You have to come to visit..."
"Stop by anytime..."
"Spend a weekend..."
Are not invitations.
Ring up and ask;
"Can I come out (date)?"
Listen carefully; sometimes people betray the fact they
don't wish you to visit.
"Well, you know...."
"Um...the room is..."
"I wasn't expecting..."
Put a smile in your voice, and say "that's fine," and
let the conversation die.
Many people make offers/invitations, which are no more
than the "how are you?" amenity.
Some never expect you to take up their offer, so can
be as expansive as possible, knowing you won't be
arriving in this life time.
If, when you call your hosts seem happy about it,
give them a time you expect to arrive, listen to
see if it is convenient.
Always do what is convenient for them.
Sure, you plane may arrive at ten pm but it's not
convenient for them to pick you up at the airport
or to open their Fortress to let in you in.
Stay at a motel until the morning, don't whine and
make it seem they owe you free transport and a
disruption of their usual habits because you are
coming.
I can't emphasize this enough; when you are a guest
everything is at the Host's convenience.
Once everything is set, as you are about to embark;
give them another call to announce your impending
arrival.
Be prepared to turn back if the response is
anything but cheering.
Many times things change, there is some domestic
problem or a financial situation which has made
your visit turn from a good idea to very bad one.
Call from the airport or before you get into
your car. Make sure your visit is still on.
Once you arrive, be happy. Don't complain
about the trip, etc. Act really happy to be
there. Compliment and compliment and let them
direct you to where you will be staying; which
bathroom you are to use; etc.
No matter how they say;
'this is your house'
or
'help yourself';
don't.
Don't be the one to finish the juice, eat that last piece of
pie, use those nice products put out for you in the bathroom;
if you are tempted, if you forgot your shampoo, use the
tiniest amount and make sure when you replace the bottle, it
doesn't look used.
If they don't turn on the air conditioner, you don't turn it
on. If they don't turn on the television, you leave it off.
And always ask before you touch or use anything.
For example, there was just one ash tray in the house. How
could a guest know that was the great grandfather's heirloom?
You could imagine how the warm welcome turned frosty.
Always bring your own; from soap to toothpaste to food items.
Often you'll enter a stocked bathroom, a few days later, it's
been cleaned out. That means, TIME TO GO.
Listen to your host's stories, share a little, don't
monopolize the conversation. Agree with them as much
as you can without being a hypocrite.
Everyone has their quirks; from picking a fruit off the
tree, to cooking your own meal. Be alert.
Some people do not want you in their kitchens. They will
prefer to get out of bed and make you a piece of toast then
let you operate their toaster.
Others expect you to feed yourself and if you wait for them
to give you a cup of tea, you'll be there a very long time.
When you get out of bed, make it. When you use the bathroom,
make it look unused. Toilet bowls can be tricky; keep
cleaning the one you used, and if you can, don't flush unless
you have to, as many people have a water conscious mentality.
Offer to help, if you don't get instant agreement, leave it
alone. They do not want you to do whatever it is.
This is their house, not yours. They live a certain way, you
don't. Try to float through their house like a ghost, so
that when you are gone there is no momento.
Sometimes, you are invited because people feel they have to,
but subconsciously, do not want you there. Be alert if they
say that someone else is coming to visit, or that they've put
you in Uncle Benjie's room; these are hints it is pack up
time.
Occasionally, they will claim they all have to go out and
can't leave you in the house alone.
This means, pack up.
Always be ready to leave. If you've been invited for
a weekend and arrived on Friday, think Sunday afternoon
as departure time.
If they tell you to wait until Monday morning, you know
you've gaged correctly.
If you've come for the "Summer", arriving July 1, be alert
to leave in the first week of August, unless things are going
very well.
As you are preparing to go, thank your hosts, leave, send a
gift, and depending on how much your visit disrupted their
life; they might invite you back.
At the very least, they won't complain about you to others.?
