There's something satisfying about cooking outdoors. Perhaps it's an ancient inherited memory of preparing food for survival of the immediate social circle. The experience is quite similar for us as it was for our cave dwelling ancestors thousands of years ago. And don't let that natural gas line fueling the electronically-lit grill cooking the “Beer Can Chicken” spoil the “getting back to the outdoors” experience for you.
Remember this does involve open flame, and there's no shame in asking the blessing before attempting to light the barbecue. A sense of humor can ease everyone's nerves. Why not announce that you'll be preparing “Joan of Arc Chicken”? And maybe even throw on a few extra pieces for the firemen who are nice enough to drop by with the siren wailing to let you know when it's done.
It's likely to be hot out there. With global warming you may be able to fry an egg on the hood of your car, but you really need a barbecue grill that's big enough so you don't have to. Of course, the FDA will tell you that you shouldn't do that anyway.
If you have a pool, that's perfect. If you don't have a poolside change room, but you want to offer guests the convenience of one, perhaps they can get into their swim wear standing beside the lawnmower in the backyard garden shed.
If you're thinking about installing a pool, consider that everybody has a kidney-shaped pool. If you want to stand out, put in a spleen-shaped pool. You'll be able to spot your backyard from an airplane much more easily. And if you don't want to finance the project all at once, start with the diving board and a pool cover. That way, once they're in place your neighbors will see them over the fence and assume you have a pool. They'll probably be nicer to you.
Planned activities involving children are a wonderful idea. Although if there's to be a water balloon toss, you'll want to watch out for a competitive little brother who defeats his sister and then announces that her water broke. Avoiding prolonged exposure to direct sunlight is crucial. A patio umbrella's an excellent choice for protection against harmful ultraviolet rays and any novice shots at lawn darts, too. Sunscreen for everyone outdoors is a great idea. If your little one is a messy eater, keep in mind that chunky blue cheese dressing can have an impressive ability to block ultraviolet rays as well.
It's “Safety first.” Let the kids get involved by having them put self-adhesive rubberized flower decals on the bottom of the bird bath. And to keep the toddlers entertained, serve a canned ham pate product as finger food, encourage them to model dinosaurs with it and voila! You have Jurassic Pork! These are toys that they are actually encouraged to eat.
If it's potluck people will want their containers back, and possibly their leftovers. It's fine to label containers, but remember it's definitely tacky to label deviled eggs with a felt tip marker. And if you have just a few carnivorous teenagers, condiments and any culinary skill with the barbecue at all, there will be no leftover burgers and hotdogs.
Finally, before serving the burgers, dogs, bratwursts and steaks it may be difficult remembering which delicious serving goes to which barbecue guest. The trick is to keep careful track of the servings during the entire preparation and cooking process.
And the one that fell on the patio stones is for your mother-in-law.
