Nine Reasons to Avoid a Beach Vacation Not Counting Sharks

1. Most dismiss those nasty dumpster diving sea gulls off as sandwich stealers and pure pests. But, what happens when a sea gull poops on your face ? Sea gull poop has E. Coli, Cryptococossis, and Histoplasmosis in it. These disease causing organisms can give you one nasty infection if the poop finds an open sore, mouth, or eye. Worse, the bird was bit by a West Nile Virus mosquito and then the bird bites or scratches you. Beach trip turns into hospital trip!
2. Foot eating sand holes. Sure the parents love the countless hours kids will amuse themselves while digging giant craters and tunnels to China in the sandy beach. Then someone comes strolling along and breaks a foot.
3. Kid eating sand holes. I know it sounds hard to believe, but there have been 52 cases worldwide and over thirty resulted in death. A kid digs a sand hole and all of a sudden the slightest vibration triggers the walls to collapse. The sand buries the kid sitting in the hole with out a trace. Kind of puts a different twist on a relaxing beach day.
4. Like to lay your beach towel close to the water or take walks close to the water? You might want to think twice about that. Sleeper waves are quick, powerful, and larger than normal waves. They hit unexpectedly and then rise further up the shore than normal. The sand beneath the rogue wave erodes causing whoever is in its path to loose their footing. Adults and especially children can easily be knocked down and swept out to sea.
5. Swimming after it rained can cause a serious health hazard. It takes three days for the level of pollutants in the ocean after a rain to return to a safe level. Bacteria-laden water travels through storm drain system straight to the ocean without being treated. You will literally be swimming in raw sewage, street water, etc.. At open water beaches the danger is well beyond one hundred feet from the run off, but on enclosed beaches that lack water circulation the bacteria level is higher, further spread, and takes longer to return to a normal bacterial level. The bacteria causes eye & ear infections, upper respiratory infection, stomach flu, and bacterial infections in open sores. I will add that there is a study of certain California beaches tending to have high bacterial levels related to human waste during the lunar cycle of the moon. Alexandria Boehm, a Stanford University environmental engineer discovered “tides that occur during new or full moons correlate to levels of bacteria harmful to humans.” Local governments feel this is “too small an effect” to close the beaches.
6. Storm clouds can loom off shore and then suddenly be upon you. If you are not paying careful attention to the clouds, a sudden squall can turn day to night within seconds and leave you running for cover. The third leading cause of deaths at the beach are lightning strikes.
7. There are idiots everywhere. Some drunk idiot rents a beach umbrella and forgets to lock it in. From out of nowhere you have a fifty pound arrow being whirled through the air by a gust of wind. Remember what your mother always said “you are going to poke someone's eye out with that thing!” Just add concussion, impalement, etc.
8. Invasion of the jellyfish! North American jelly fish are not typically not lethal, but allergic reactions can be fatal. Multiple stings or an allergy to the venom can cause anaphylactic shock. Either way the sting hurts like hell, swells, and can ruin the best day. For some reason, many people will immediately poor a bottle of fresh water on the sting. This is the worst thing ever. Fresh water changes the tonicity and just causes a release of more venom.
9. Attack of the sea lice! These are the microscopic larvae of stinger cells from jellyfish and other ocean stingers. They are invisible in the water and when they become trapped in bathing suits or folds of skin they release their venom. This results in an intense itchy red rash that blisters.

*All this before you ever see a shark!