Always eager to impress my girlfriend, I ran for the softball with my catcher's mitt extended. Following the small white object's trajectory with my eye, and extrapolating its course and speed in my brain, has never been one of my strengths. I realized I wasn't going to make it...unless I dove for the ball. It's OK. I'm OK.
I wasn't hurt but my favorite pair of denim blue jeans was ruined. The knees had more chlorophyll on them than a wheat grass puree at Juice4Life.
Fortunately, my Grandpa once showed me a secret weapon he uses to clean grass stains off blue jeans, Arm & Hammer brand tooth whitening toothpaste. The old man used to squeeze this blue-white paste right out of the tube and onto the grass stains. He'd rub the gritty substance into the fabric before throwing the blemished articled into the wash.
It worked every time then and it still works today. No matter how weak the detergent, or how heavy or old the grass stain, toothpaste trumps chlorophyll and those green badges of honor acquired while playing America's greatest game will vanish forever in one twenty-minute cycle.
