The search for Kung Pao Chicken (宫保鸡丁) (The Hunt for the Heat) was indeed the best time anyone has ever had trying to find heat. I was raised in a heat seeking household. As far back as I can remember, we always had a bowl of hot cherry peppers, smothered with garlic, oregano, and of course, olive oil. My father always said, “Eating hot peppers puts hair on your chest. Needless to say, I have a very hairy chest today, and have heat to thank for it. While I am on the subject, you should see my sister. She dated men that have asked her why she was wearing a sweater on the beach.
I have eaten just about every hot pepper known to man in my life’s journey. I have been challenged many times over. I would eat any pepper, any time, any where, as people watched in amazement. When ordering a hot dish, be it Asian, Indian, Mexican or Italian, I make it my business to tell the waiter or waitress, that I want it as hot as they can make it. I tell them that I expect the fork to melt after it has been dipped in their special inferno delight. I tell them hot but they seem to want to make it as hot as they could stand it which is not exceptable.
Once at my workplace, a Hispanic man walked over to me and showed me a very tiny pepper from his native Puerto Rico. There were a few of his friends standing around laughing. I then, knew it was going to be a very hot pepper. I didn’t know this pepper so I used a trick just so they didn’t have the satisfaction of winning the game they were playing. I placed the pepper passed the taste buds and swallowed it whole. They were astounded and dumbfounded, that I never even flinched. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Puerto Rico is a part of America.
So, my son Adam, now fourteen, walks over to me after watching George Costanza on Seinfeld eat Kung Pao Chicken. He asked me if he could try it. It brought a tear to my eye, not my son, the chicken. The first three Chinese kitchens failed us. I asked for the heat but they fell short. I had an idea; I brought my son to one last Chinese restaurant. This is exactly how I told them. "Listen, I want this dish hot and spicy. I want it so hot my nose hairs fall out. I want it ten times spicy and when you think it is the way I want it, make it hotter. I want the devil to cry uncle. I want it smoke out of my ears hot. I want it hot, underlined with ten exclamation points on both sides of it. I asked them to say that back to me. They muttered something in Chinese, but I think they were calling me an idiot.
The next stop before we brought the heat home was a sandwich shop. My wife won’t eat the heat. No, she like her chest just the way it is. While I was inside ordering the sandwich, my son tried some of the chicken in the car. He came running in asking me to get him a drink. I knew I was in business and after getting my sandwich, and a gallon of soda for my kid, we were on our way home. I made two plates with a rice base underneath the chicken so the plates wouldn’t melt. Smoke started to rise from the dish.
My son and I sat there, in a sixty degree air conditioned room, in a cold sweat. Our eyes were watering, our noses were running, and out mouths were smiling. They did it, right. They even sent a side of hot pepper sauce just in case it wasn’t hot enough for me; I drank that as a chaser. You see folks, when most people put fruit on their breakfast in the morning, I am topping it with the heat.
I don’t eat hot all the time, only when the mood strikes me or when I am challenged. Here is my personal recipe for stuffed hot peppers. I hope you try them, hot cherry's are not so hot and make great side dishes at parties.
In a frying pan brown up a pound of ground beef. Stir in two cups of bread crumbs. The mixture will be very dry. Add Worcestershire sauce until mix is moist but firm and remove from heat. Take hot cherry peppers, remove stem and clean out seeds leaving the pepper intact. Wash them with cold water to remove any vinegar and seeds that may have been left behind. Stuff with meat mixture and chill for one hour. Drizzle slightly with olive oil and enjoy. I use hot cherry peppers so others that don’t do spicy can enjoy them.
