It gets difficult sometimes to determine when one has been transformed from cook to chef. This is a simple guide to help you determine your status in the culinary world.
Do you have a television show?
Do you wear a silly hat?
Does your silly hat attempt to cover your hair?
If you are a woman, do you allow a sexy wisp to fall out the front, making you irresistible?
If you are a man, is your beard left totally uncovered?
Do you say "erb" instead of "herb".
Do you use cilantro rather than coriander?
Do you plate your food rather than serve it?
Do you have a complete disregard for people's health and liberally sprinkle every aspect of your creations- preparation, cooking and after serving, with salt?
Does your first name sound like a surname of family name? Despite evidence to the contrary, do you still use butter in your cooking because a little bit won't hurt?
Do you find your creations generally lack balance and ignore the five servings of vegetables a day rule?
Do you provide a jus instead of gravy?
Do you shout at people, just because you can?
Do you match the wine to the course adding huge sums of money to the overall price?
Are any of the ingredients you use not able to be pronounced by those "not in the know"?
Do you refuse to cook steak at anything above medium?
Do you think barbeque's are crass?
Do you use any single ingredient that is equivalent in purchase price to a whole family take home bucket of Kentucky Fried chicken?
Do you never wash dishes?
Do you use as many dishes as you can to create each dish?
Do you have a secret alcohol problem?
Were you bullied at school?
If you answer “yes” to any more than three of the above, you are a chef!
Yes, I am a chef but not because of this silly list. Because I take pride in my work and have worked hard to get here. Try living in my world for a few weeks. I doubt a pansy like you could take it. :-P
#2 by Hanna, Jun 13, 2007
Well now....I think this list is is very creative and a bit of fun! I dont think you should take it so personally Victoria, just de-stress and have a laugh! Thats what I did!
#3 by jonnie, Jun 19, 2007
very funny. I am a chef. I work damn long hours and all that but we still have fun. Marketing mate, that is what it is about. Cheers
#4 by Oliver, Jul 3, 2007
Their would not be many professions without its poseurs. And if that what it takes to excite and incite to excellence, I am happy with it.
